Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Sod's law

There’s a reason I like to run in the mornings—fewer people out and about. Specifically people I know.

I was super lazy this morning so I didn’t get out for my run til well after 9 am (thankfully I’m a grad student, so I can work whatever hours I want). As I headed out of the park on my way back home, I came across a friend’s boyfriend. I knew it was too much to hope that I didn’t look like a hot mess. He was very nice though and remarked on how much he admired both me and his gf for keeping up with our running after the 5K a couple of weeks ago. His lovely Irish accent helped distract me from how god-awful I likely looked and we ended up having a nice chat.

We said our goodbyes when we reached my building. As I approached the main entrance, I saw one of the other tenants locking up his bike. It was one of the hot Australian rugby players. And I looked like unutterable shit. Great.

There was something wrong with the front doors which left us unable to open them, so I suggested we use the side entrance. He graciously opened the gate for me and we chatted a bit. Of course, the first thing out of his mouth was, ‘So, did you enjoy your run?’ I replied with something inane, as per my usual. We parted ways at the top of the stairs. I hurriedly unlocked my door and ran into the bathroom to see how awful I looked.

Oh. Holy. Jesus.

Besides the usual sheen of sweat and curly/frizzy afro-like halo of hair encircling my head, I had the added bonus of unknowingly displaying more cleavage than I had intended. I had intended to show none. And adorning said cleavage? A half dozen bugs a la Jess.

‘Hot mess’ was an understatement.

I don’t think I’ll be hitting the snooze button again for the foreseeable future.

Ci vediamo dopo.

Italian Phrases of the Day:
From Vanilla’s pick-up lines for runners:

Ti piace rapido? Posso essere rapido.
You like fast? I can be fast.

Sono le tue gambe doloranti? Perché hanno corso attraverso la mia mente tutto il giorno.
Are your legs sore? Because they’ve been running through my mind all day.

#71 and 70 from the AFI movie quotes list:

Aspetta un momento, aspetta un momento. Non sentite niente già!
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!’ (The Jazz Singer, 1927)

È sicuro?
'Is it safe?' (Marathon Man, 1976)

15 comments:

Nitmos said...

At least you weren't sporting a wayward snot rocket on you shoulder or something. THAT would have been embarrassing.

Jamie said...

All things considering it could have been much worse. No worries boys like a girl that takes care of herself and itsn't afraid to get a bit dirty ;)

Marcy said...

LMAO! Jamie is right ;-) And plus I'm SURE you didn't look as bad as you think.

RazZDoodle said...

I wouldn't sweat it. Get it? Sweat it? If he works out, too, I'm thinking he'll understand.

marie said...

Frig - how come I never meet men on my runs? Send em my way!!

Ellen said...

If you are worried about showing too much cleavage while you're running, clearly you need to come visit me in New York and we'll take a lovely stroll around Central Park during peak running time. The women here will put you to shame.

And honestly, showing your boobs, ain't no thang. As long as you stay away from the pole.

Ellen said...

Forgot to add this to my original comment: I'm calling you Sugar Mama from now on. Wink, wink.

Xenia said...

Sugar Mama?!? Ellen, that makes me sound like a rich ho! You know I'm a penniless prude. ;)

Merry said...

He probably just enjoyed the view and ignored the bugs ;)

Meg said...

I spent most of the post saying "I know what you mean!"
1) I run in the mornings often to avoid anyone seeing my red puffy face. I'm actually kind of afraid of running in the afternoons for that reason!
2) I hear ya on the Irish accents. I spent a summer in Dublin and fell for every guy that spoke to me. And it's not a particularly attractive country, men-wise. :)
3) I'm pretty sure the humidity is 50% higher within a 6" radius around my head when I run. I get quite the 'fro.
I like the phrase "hot mess!"

Xenia said...

Meg--Thank god I'm not the only one who plans my runs around my neuroses. :)

Katie said...

Omg Xenia, I loved this post! You are hilarious! Plus, you must be a damn fast runner to be catching those flies like that, lol :) Keep up the good work! Seriously though, you're kicking butt and I love it. Any tips for getting started? I'm not much of a runner, but I love doing it on the treadmill at the gym every now and then :)

chia said...

It was really odd how much of a stigma some girls had against anything that made them sweat over there. In Bath I wouldn't see a single woman runner under the age of 40. Is it the same around there? So pretty much those sweaty bosoms is probably more action those euro-hunks have caught in awhile ;-).

Cheers hawtness!

Xenia said...

Chia--I see predominantly young women running around here, but then again this is a huge university town so that makes sense. Btw, I love Bath! I'm a huge Jane Austen and Roman archaeology nut, so Bath is pretty much a slice of heaven for me....and for about a million other tourists too. ;)

Non-Runner Nancy said...

OMG, you crack me up. I'm sure he was interested in the cleavage and probably didn't see the bugs or anything else! :D