I see you in the mornings when I run in the park or in the evenings at the gym. You’re wearing tiny lycra shorts and camisole tops, showing off what the gods, genes and your workouts have given you. I see the looks you get from the males of the species and I understand your fashion choices. I don’t wear that kind of workout attire myself, but I don’t begrudge you doing so. To each her own. But let me tell you one thing about your outfit—wearing that push-up bra or no bra at all is doing you no favors in the long term.
You know where not properly supporting your ta-tas leads to? Work as a National Geographic cover model. You’ll soon have to invest in knee pads or greaves because your hooters are going to be swinging like tether balls and causing some serious damage in the process.
Gravity is already working against you. Don’t make it worse for yourself. There have been plenty of studies conducted on the degree of breast bounce during exercise (up to 8 inches of movement!) and the need for proper support. Hell, even the annoying Tyra Banks has done a show on this.
Trust me, in five to ten years you will be doing this in front of the mirror, just like me.*
And that mild an outcome is only for those of us smart enough to wear proper support.
Listen to Aunt Xenia. Unfortunately (or fortunately—depends on your perspective), I was one of those girls who went from flat to a B-cup in three seconds. No cute training bras with the little pink bows for me. Instead it was old-lady Playtex at the age of twelve. (yes, I’m still bitter). Then the damn things kept growing. Thankfully they stopped before reaching a double letter cup size like many other female members of my family.
But I digress.
Proper support doesn’t mean strapping your boobs down with duct tape. There are options in the on-going battle to retain your perkiness long past its natural expiration date. Depending on your breast size, these will vary, but for larger breasted women, you can invest in high quality sports bras from companies like Title Nine or Enell or go the cheaper route by buying cotton uni-boob-making bras and ‘double-bagging’ your girls. Sadly, I am currently forced to do the latter, but I am saving up my pennies to purchase more high-tech bras. If I were immune to chafing, I’d just bind my hooters down with some heavy-duty ace bandages. However I’m not, so I don’t.
For those with smaller cup sizes...well, this is a possible option. Whatever does the job, I guess.
Trust me, when your girls start heading south like the school slut’s dress (and dignity) on prom night, you’re going to wish you’d listened to me. Just ask yourself—do you really want to end up looking like this? The choice is yours.
*Editor's note: The Sweetest Thing is a horrendously bad movie, but it does have a few worthy (low-brow) comedic moments buried amongst the craptasticness of Cameron ‘I overact in everything’ Diaz’s performance. I found a copy of the movie in the Walmart bargain bin and thought the deal was too good to pass up. Sue me.