There once was a girl named
One day, as
This can’t be, she thought to herself. Where am I?
She stepped out the door. Turning around, she noticed the top part of the turret she once inhabited had broken off and landed on the ground, but she was definitely not in
‘Oh no!’ she cried, running over to the body. Before she could help whoever was trapped under the debris, she was stopped by a voice from behind her.
‘She’s not dead, ya know.’
‘How do you know?’
The brunette with green shorts and a Vegans Rule t-shirt hopped out of the Cadillac. ‘Because that’s Running Knitter. Notorious narcoleptic runner. She’s just taking a snooze.’
‘No really, she’s fine. Just listen,’ said the second woman, exiting the car while tossing back her long sun-streaked hair. She was extremely elegant except for the fact that she appeared to have an uncontrollable urge to do jazz hands.
‘We’re the Good Running Witches of North America,’ answered the driver of the car. ‘I’m Lily. The militant vegan over there is Chia and the beauty queen is POM.’ She nodded towards the sleeping body. ‘Running Knitter is a good running witch too. She heads up the southwest division.’
‘You’ve landed smack in the middle of Ohmyhooha’, stated POM.
‘Ohmyhooha. It’s in the middle of
‘But how did I get here?’
‘Tornado,’ said Chia, the other two nodding in agreement. ‘This area is prone to them, it being flat and all.’
The three running witches simultaneously looked at the wreck that was once
‘Well, not really. But I’ll never be able to enjoy life and especially my running guilt-free until my dissertation is finished.’
‘Well then,’ said Lily, ‘you need to go and see the Wizards of Blogland.’
‘Who are they?’
Before anyone could answer, there was a shout of joy from behind them. Turning,
‘Oh,’ said Chia, ‘it’s Mayor Razzdoodle.’
The mayor smiled at them all and exclaimed, ‘Oooo, who do I have to thank for this newest tourist attraction in Ohmyhooha?’
‘Newest attraction?’ asked
‘This structure will be a great addition to the
‘They’re all-powerful and the only ones who can help you achieve your goal,’ replied Lily.
That’s nice and vague, thought
‘They live in
‘Good, that’s close. Can you guys give me a lift?’
The witches looked at each other furtively. ‘Um, we can’t. We’ve gotta get somewhere for a meeting.’
‘What kind of meeting?’
‘Um, you know. An important business meeting, involving the exchange of cash for services rendered.’
‘Well, like, um, tebble dinces...’ mumbled Chia.
‘Tebble dinces? You mean table dances. You all are ditching me here to go shove bills into some guy's g-string?’
‘Kid, it’s two-for-one at the Chippendale’s bar tonight and Mr. Bubble Butt is performing. It’s a can’t-miss evening,’ said Lily.
‘So how am I supposed to get to
‘Duh,’ said POM. ‘Run there.’
‘But I’m not wearing my running shoes!’ shrieked
Chia nodded towards the still sleeping Running Knitter. ‘Take her shoes. She won’t mind. She’s used to having her shoes nicked by the time she wakes up anyway.’
‘Which way to
Lily pointed to the left. ‘Just follow the yellow track road.’(TO BE CONTINUED)
Here is the rest of the story:
Yes, I think it's safe to say I've lost my ever-loving mind. Either that or I was completely out of blog material so I pulled something random out of my ass. Feel free to speculate about who I've cast in future roles. I'm going to try to
Ci vediamo dopo.