Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Dignity? What's that?

Running Knitter left some distressing news in the comments of the last post. It appears Asics is discontinuing their GT 2130 line. While I was in the states recently, I purchased a second pair of these Asics, this time with a beautiful blue accent color as opposed to pink. (Thank you, America, for having a variety from which to choose. Suck on that, England.)

I broke in the blue Asics here in Rome and they have felt like a dream. Now the company is stabbing me straight in the heart and ending my perfect relationship with the perfect shoe.

Assholes.

So, what do I do? Do I prolong my dying relationship by purchasing a few more pairs of shoes online so I don’t have to deal with the shoe dating scene again until well into the New Year? Or do I just suck it up and admit it’s the end of a (rather brief) golden era?

Because it wouldn’t be a normal week if I didn’t do something incredibly stupid
I debated for almost an entire week about whether or not I was going to tell this story to you all. It’s rather embarrassing. But as that hasn’t stopped me before, here goes.

One morning last week, I woke up around 6ish and realized I needed to pee. But I was super comfortable in bed and I still had an hour before the alarm was set to go off, so I stayed where I was and fell back asleep.

When the alarm went off at 7, I swatted at it groggily. The need to pee was rather urgent now but I still didn’t want to leave the confines of the comfy bed. That all changed when I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing and the lock being turned.

My roommate had entered the bathroom to attend to her morning ablutions. When I heard the shower turn on, I knew I was done for. She would be in there for at least another 15 minutes minimum and I didn’t have that kind of time.

Sweet baby jesus, what was I going to do?!

That’s when it dawned on me. There’s another room in the flat with a drainage system. It was either that or wet myself. And I really hate to mop.

That’s right, folks. I peed in the kitchen sink.

Dropping trow, I hiked myself up onto the sink, positioned myself accordingly and let ‘er flow. Since my bladder had been over-full, I was there for a while. It was a bit like that scene in A League of Their Own.



Only I’m a girl. And I was peeing in a kitchen sink.

I began to freak out because it was taking so long. Crap, what if D finishes her shower before I’m done? Why didn’t I close the kitchen door? She’s going to open the bathroom door, turn the corner and get an eyeful. How am I still peeing?! There isn’t even this much liquid in the Tiber for christ's sake!

Thankfully there were no witnesses to my stupidity. Eventually my bladder was emptied and I was able to re-group.

I also scrubbed the hell out of that sink.

Now if I could just stop cringing every time D washes vegetables in the sink, everything would be perfect.

Random things I’ve seen in Rome that have made me laugh out loud
  • The smallest public transport bus known to man. If I can get a photo of one next to a regular-sized bus you’ll be able to appreciate how absurd it looks.
  • For two days in a row I’ve spotted women sporting Hammer pants. Is this just an Italian fashion trend or are these horrendous things popping back up in America too?
  • During this morning’s run, I came across an American tourist having his picture taken with one of the men dressed up as a centurion outside the Colosseum. He was shaking the centurion’s hand while the centurion had his sword jabbed into the man’s crotch. Tourists, they be crazy mofos. (I’m one of them so I can say that.)
Ci vediamo dopo. (See you later)

23 comments:

Lily on the Road said...

Saucony does the same thing ALL the time! I hate it...but sometimes it just makes us search for the perfect shoe...

hahahahha, believe it or not (dare I admit this), I've had to do the same thing in the kitchen....a lloooonnnng time ago...same situation...LMAO...

mini bus in Rome always cracked me up.

Laura said...

HILARIOUS about the sink! I haven't had to do that yet but it's definitely good to keep that in mind in case my new roommate ever does the same to me.

Do you know if the GT 2110s are done for? I haven't bought a pair of those in about a year but they used to be my favorites.

MCM Mama said...

I'm totally LMAO at the sink peeing. BTDT, but it involved a fraternity house, a bathroom sink and a lot of beer.

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO HAHAHAH!! I have not done the kitchen sink but I have peed in a flower vase. (Took the flowers out and wizzed in it. Sort of a similar situation as yours) I did end up throwing that sucker out immediately. I'm sorry but when you gotta go you just gotta go.

Hammer pants?!? OMFG I hope to god they never come back. I have enough pics of my sporting those babies in the early 90's :-X

RazZDoodle said...

wow. I mean, wow.

NOW I can start my day. Thank you. Thankyousomuch.

tfh said...

Buy the shoes, I say. That's what I'd do. A couple pairs at least. Blue.

And thanks for the Wednesday morning giggle. That is definitely one of those moments when you wish you were a man. I hear they pee in the sink all the time. With pleasure. With ease.

Roisin said...

Have you seen "Baby Mama"? In light of your sink incident, I feel like it's only right that you should ;)

It makes me awfully happy that there are two bathrooms in my apartment.

If you can afford to buy a few pairs at once, I say go for it and worry about getting re-fitted for a new pair later.

BeachRunner said...

What's the big deal. LOL. Us guys pee anytime, everywhere.

Sorry about the kicks. You might want to buy a few pairs before they disappear.

Viper said...

When in Rome, eh?

How do peas taste when washed in the pee sink?

Sorry about the shoes, but that's just one more reason to hate Asics.

Jenn N Butter said...

I had to pee in the tub once because my friend was having the toilet replaced and I didn't find out about it until I was a few beers in and was desperate to go. You will be happy to know that the new toilet arrived about 20 minutes later.

I loved Hammer pants, they were hideous but fun, and totally comfortable. Maybe I should move to Rome so that I can sport them again.

Jenn

Nitmos said...

This is the first I'm hearing that Asics is dicontinuing my shoe. Off to stock up now.

I can hear it now:

Roommate: "Urine luck, we have fresh veggies."

Xenia: " What did you say?"

Roommate: "I said 'you're in luck, we have fresh veggies."

Xenia, sheepishly: " Oh."

Running Knitter said...

I can't believe you went in the sink...LOL!

I think I'm going to stock up on the Asics - I love them too much to move on to another shoe!

Paint-Me-Dioxazine said...

i officially just died laughing. seriously, i may not have even thought of that and ended up peeing into like 8 cups. last night i went to dinner with some friends and decided i could wait till i got home to go to the bathroom. the bike ride from one side of center city philly to the other really only takes about 20 minutes, and i didn't have to go immdiately. but once i got on the bike and started swerving around pot holes and bouncing over a couple brick paved streets in old city my bladder was on FIRE. all i could think was "if a cab hits me i'm going to explode". thankfully i made it home about .3 seconds before i wet my pants.

and no. hammer pants are not and should not EVER be back in style.

Vanilla said...

Peeing in the sink is a new one. Nice job!

Ted said...

OMG !!! You peed in the sink !! Who would have thunk of that ?? Just last Sunday before the half marathon race, there was a LONG LONG LONG line of people waiting to take turn to use the port a potties. I had to forgo and look for the nearest tree. I have found a perfect spot behind some trees and I stumbled to find a woman peeing behind the trees. Ahem! I had to wait till she gets out before I could pee. That was my first time seeing that! No need for me to spare any more details here.

Blyfinn said...

Reading this was great! What a great laugh in the middle of the day. Asics is making me so mad. I have been using the 2100's for about three years.

Sarah said...

Is this just an Italian fashion trend or are these horrendous things popping back up in America too?

Well, you know they say the Italians are at the forefront of high fashion (though the French may disagree. Haute couture cage match!) Therefore, it is only a matter of time, I fear, before this recycled fashion disaster once more makes its way to our shores. Thanks for the heads up.

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

Why can't they just leave well enough alone and stop upgrading the shoes? It's frustrating. I happen to like my current shoes a lot and am thinking of stocking up while they're still being made.

I've been desperate to pee, but never thought of that. I've gone outside - I guess that only works when there's some privacy outside. LOL

Ms. V. said...

I've done many things, just not in a sink.

Wow. Just wow.

That was fabulous.

The Laminator said...

So sad about the GT-2130. I have two pairs of those and they have carried me through two marathons. What to do, what to do...I'm done for, I tell ya!

Girl on Top said...

Sometimes, it feels better to hold and sleep. :)

Frayed Laces said...

Wait a sec, are you still living with your advisor? Now THAT would have made for one interesting situation!

With the shoes, I suggest buy an "in case of emergency pair" and start looking for another brand/model that fits you. That way, if it takes awhile, you have a pair you know you can rely on.

Meg said...

No way! I've peed in some weird places, but never in a sink. I've never heard of that! I can't believe you just admitted it but I love that you did!