I lied on Monday. I said I had no complaints about my performance in Sunday’s half marathon, but I do. Even though I finished under 2:30 which was my goal, I’m disappointed in my overall pace. I’d wanted to average a sub-11 pace, but instead ended up with 11:10. In the World of Slow in which I reside I know that isn’t a huge difference, but apparently it’s a big deal to me, because I’m still kicking myself for it. Well, not literally kicking myself. At least not until my quads have fully healed.
This has caused me to have reservations about attempting the Florence marathon in November. I remember being two thirds of the way through the half marathon and thinking I was deranged for even contemplating a marathon this year. Mentally I had a difficult time during the half and now I’m worried I’m not ready to attempt a full marathon, especially since it will take me over 5 hours to complete. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to endure that.
After Sunday’s race, I was almost sure I wouldn’t run in Florence, but now I’m undecided again. If I forgo the Florence marathon, I could focus on speed and hill work while I’m in Rome for the fall. There is no shortage of hills there as opposed to my town in England, so there would be no way for me to shirk hill work like I have over the past few months. Following in Nitmos’ footsteps, I could have a season of speed of my own, only it would be called the Autumn of Acceleration, the Fall of Fartleks, or the Winter of ...erm... I’m not sure really. I’ll leave that name up to you all.
So, yeah, I have no idea what I’m doing or what I’m capable of. Pretty par for the course for me, but things are really out of whack right now because of other things too. The vet appointment today was pretty heart-wrenching for us as we found out one of my furballs (not the alarm clock, but his sister) has a lump which may be the big ‘C’. Because of her age, the prognosis is not good, which means she’ll probably pass away before I come back again for Christmas. And I’m leaving tomorrow for England. Total suckage.
If you all have any advice about the marathon or how I can stop obsessing about how slow I am, fire away in the comments. So far I’ve got nothing.