Riddle me this

Today is my friend Bean’s last day in Rome, so this morning we headed out to a museum neither of us had been to before, Montemartini. It’s a late 19th century power station that’s been converted into a museum which showcases ancient sculpture. In my professional opinion, it’s way cool. I wish I’d visited it years ago. Anyway, there was lots of fun stuff for nerds like us to see and make fun of. We followed up our museum visit with a pizza lunch which we took to-go and ate outside the Pantheon then had some of the best gelati (ice cream) in Rome. But first we had to weave our way around a protest to get there.

Italians aren’t happy unless they’re bitching about something. Kind of like me.

I went with my standard combo of chocolate and stracciatella (vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips) while Bean had a fun old time trying to order fig ice cream. The plural for figs in Italian is fichi, pronounced ‘fiki’. Bean was trying to be careful with the pronunciation because by screwing up the second syllable, she would have accidentally said a slang word for vajaja. Well, she screwed it up and the gelati guy had a great time making fun of her. Good times.

Since I have nothing interesting to say on the running front, I thought I would give you all a short little quiz. Five questions, all with pictures and a little bit of a gender-bending theme. The commenter who gets the most correct answers will receive a postcard (because sometimes it's nice to get something in the mail other than bills, bills and more bills) and the best souvenir ever from Rome. Nope, not The David apron or the Hot Priests of Rome calendar. (Editor’s note: Sadly, I’ve learned the men featured in the calendar are not real priests. Guess Big Papa would have thrown up a big stink if they were.) A very non-scientific survey conducted amongst all my traveling buddies has unanimously proven that the best souvenir from Rome, regardless of whether or not you’re catholic, is the Popener.

The Pope + bottle opener = the Popener.

Nowadays, there’s usually Benny on one side and JP on the other. Either way, it’s still awesome.

Okay, folks, here are the questions:

1) This is a funerary stele. The dude’s profession is indicated in the imagery on the stele. Was he (a) a Roman gay-rights icon, (b) purveyor of bras for man-boobs, or (c) a cobbler.


2) This is a sculpture of the boy toy of a well-known second century AD Roman emperor. What’s the emperor’s name? (Bonus: Name the boy toy.)


3) Why is this guy so happy?

(Hint: the dude’s name is Priapus)

4) Is this the arse of a man or woman?


5) These are two statues of the same individual. Is it of a man or woman?


To enter this messed-up contest, just post your answers in the comments of this post before Thursday, October 16 at 3 pm EST. I’ll reveal the winner’s name on Friday. If however, the contest winner just wants the nerdy bragging rights and not the 'prize', I’ll have the Random Number Generator choose a prize winner.

All right, good luck, geeks. Catch you later.