Monday, 16 February 2009

What I Need

This weekend was the Freakishly Flexible 5K. In honor of our wonderful Nancy, I ran 5.7 miles instead of 5K, but in a rather shite time of 1:04:58. Eh, what do I expect when I don't keep up with my training plan.

Last week, I saw the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. It was pretty funny actually. The only thing I didn’t like was that for the entire weekend I’ve had The Cure’s Friday I’m In Love stuck in my head on repeat. It was good the first day, but now it’s just killing me.

Tonight I hit the gym for another spin class, this one non-chafing, I hope. The rest of my week is shaping up to be rather onerous with lots of work and little time to faff about.

And since I’m once again desperate for blog material, I stole this non-tagging tag from Marcy. Google “[your name] needs” and type the first ten results. That’s it. Here are mine.

1) Xenia needs moderate to strong currant (sic) to be healthy and thrive.
How do I tell what kind of currant I’m eating??
2) Xenia needs overtime to top Lebanon, 78-69.
What do the numbers indicate? Missile strikes?
3) Xenia needs new schools, but not now.
I disagree. I’ve been to enough schools. I only need one more and that’s the one that’s going to employ me.
4) Xenia needs certain trace elements to be present in the water.
As long as it’s not urine, poop, snot, mucus, vomit or jizz...
5) Xenia needs iodine to grow and be healthy.
Huh. Who knew?
6) Xenia needs help.
Fo sho.
7) A Pulsing Xenia needs a home Classified Threads (sic).
Well, considering this post, I guess this one is rather spot on. *shudder*
8) Xenia needs a new YMCA.
If it has a cheaper membership fee than my current gym, I’m all for it.
9) Xenia needs volunteer mentors for summer camps to bring hope to hurting kids.
I’m a saint. Score!
10) Xenia needs Head Varsity Football coach.
If he looks like this, then you betcha!
The wonderful Kyle Chandler

Apparently, I'm a town in Ohio, a village in Illinois and an unincorporated community in Missouri. Oh, I’m also a genus of coral. Awesome.

When I put in my real name, I found a whole new set of needs:
1) to realize that she is in fact not a bad ass
2) Facebook
3) to go
4) help
5) a big family
6) an adoption sponsor
7) an exorcism video by Cherish
8) a baby-sitter
The kicker for this one is that the beginning of the sentence was “When it comes to sex”.
9) friends
10) to start again

So I guess I’m a possessed social pariah who needs to be adopted by a big family so I can start over again. Oh, and I need a baby-sitter for sex. Yeah. I’ll leave it there then.

Have a great week, everyone.

19 comments:

Count of Monte Christo said...

Heh Google has so many layers of wisdom.
It knows stuff - a bit too much every now and again...

Jamie said...

Yum Kyle Chandler :) I love google. Now after reading your and Marcy's I need to go check out my needs...

X-Country2 said...

Kyle Chandler is DELISH! This post gets an A+ just for that.

Marcy said...

OMFG I am DYING over your real name results! HAHAHAA Especially number 1! If it makes you feel better my sister shares the same name so I guess she's not a bad ass either :P

The Laminator said...

LOL! I love your list, but disagree with #1. You are so a bad ass. No doubt. Oh, and because it's my line of work to remind people...you really do need a little iodine for your thyroid to function normally...just FYI.

Have a great week.

MCM Mama said...

Umm, thanks, now I'll have that Cure song stuck in my head for my entire run today. Just what I need for 13 miles...

;o)

Non-Runner Nancy said...

HA HA. I think I need me some Kyle. Thanks for the miles. I appreciate the support.

XOXO

Merry said...

Ay carumba! Eye candy :)

Cowboy Hazel said...

Nice. That kept me entertained for a lot longer than it should have... I need money and a fair trial, apparently.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

As long as it’s not urine, poop, snot, mucus, vomit or jizz...

Interesting ... so this would mean, I guess, that you drink your "urine, poop, snot, mucus, vomit [and] jizz" straight? And you are such a connoisseur of snot that you differentiate between "snot" and "mucus"? But yet I suppose, for you, "jizz" is just "jizz"? Sean Hannity's, Colin Firth's, Kyle Chandler's ,,, to you it's all the same and "KEEP IT OUT OF MY WATER, please!"

Elitist!

Here in Joisey. we take whatever jizz the water department sees fit to include in our tap water and we THANK them! There are some countries, Missy, who can't even afford jizz-water, and how'd you like to live there? (England, by the way, is not one of them, and has more jizz per cubic liter in their water than even East Jizzostan, where the jizz particles actually out number the water particles 3-to-1. And believe me, you don't even want to KNOW about the water contents in Poopsylvania.)

Ms. V. said...

ooooooooo I love him!!!

joyRuN said...

Those were, um, interesting results.

"Joy needs..." sounds like a bad bad thing. I'm not even going to try that one.

Have fun with the non-chafing spin class!

Lily on the Road said...

hahahahaha

kelsey said...

Kyle Chandler! :)

Do you watch FNL?

I had a blast doing the fffk, I ran the whole thing... which was a first. :D

YAY!

Blog

USJogger said...

I'd definitely sign up for the non-chafing spin class, if I had a choice.

Thanks for running in the FFFK. May all your needs be satisfied.

Heather said...

Notice how you need help with both names . . . I guess we all need a little help. Thankfully we have Google to remind us.

Roisin said...

I've been to Xenia, Ohio. A rather cataclysmic tornado that destroyed a great deal of the city is what it's famous for, I believe.

Cindy said...

first, i want to thank you for using my favorite work EVER: shite. we need more of this in the american lexicon.
i don't know who that adorable man is, but he has fabulous hair!

McB said...

As a matter of fact, you were spotted in Ohio this past weekend. Or at least your exit.