Friday, 20 March 2009

Mummy

Spring is here and I’m trying to hoist myself out of the rut winter has buried me in. Wednesday I attended my first strength training class in a loooooong time. I was expecting to feel like a pensioner mowed down by a bus on Thursday. But no, I felt fine. No muscle soreness anywhere. WTF?

Because my memory is complete shite, I forgot that the real soreness doesn’t set in until two days after. So today....I can barely move. Who knew there were actual muscles underneath my boobs. I know now because they hurt like a mo-fo. My abdominals and glutes are also in pain. It feels like I got gang-banged by the exercise equipment at the gym. Definitely not fun.

Mummy dearest
In England, this Sunday is Mother’s Day or Mothering Sunday as they like to call it here. Ever since I moved here, I’ve sent my mom a card on both the UK and US holiday. Mostly it’s because if I don’t buy a card in March, I’ll have nothing to send to her in May, but also because I am the best damn daughter in the world.

And the most modest.

My mom gets a kick out of it because she has something fun to look forward to in her mail box other than bills and store flyers. Also, as an anglophile, she likes that the cards usually say ‘mum’ on them. This time around she’s also getting a bunch of fridge magnets from my recent trips to Wales and Bath. My sister and I have a longstanding tradition of purchasing magnets for her during our travels. Our mom’s not much into knick knacks, so magnets seemed to be the smallest and most useful souvenir we could get for her. Now one entire side of her fridge, top to bottom, is covered in magnets. We keep waiting for the day when the weight imbalance finally tips the whole damn thing right over. Fingers crossed these latest acquisitions do the trick.

So to all the moms who read this blog, happy UK mummy’s day to you. Eat a scone, wear a funny hat, let your teeth rot and scold your children in a posh English accent. You’ve definitely earned it.

And to my mother who reads this blog but never comments....Hi Mom! Miss you, love you and thanks again for taking care of my geriatric diabetic cat. I owe you a lot. For that and the fact that you couldn’t sit normally for a month after my birth. Thanks also for reminding me of that....every damn time we talk. ;)

Have a great weekend, everyone!

23 comments:

Amy said...

Congratulations on finishing your second half marathon in Bath! Friends of ours are from there and are always telling us what a great town it is... we'll be in London at the beginning of April - any tips or suggestions on running there? - when we went last year, I chickened out, it was too overwhelming to run in such a big city (although I managed in Berlin).

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO! I'm sure every Mom wants to hear about how her daughter "feels like I got gang-banged by the exercise equipment at the gym" HAHA! Hey, it's a safer alternative to an actual gang bang. I think . . . who knows WHAT is on that equipment :P

Lily on the Road said...

And so should your "mum" remind you of her "uncomfortable situation" every time you talk...LOL

right on Marcy, LMAO!!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I was expecting to feel like a pensioner mowed down by a bus

Hahahaha! It's funny because it involves hurting old people!

I know my Sainted Irish Mither wanted us all (seven kids) to call her "Mother" or maybe even "Mater", but all she got was "Mom".

I was number 6 of 7 and I was a breech birth, though by that point I'm sure Mom was capable of poppin' kids out like a Pez dispenser or a post-WWII Irish-American Catholic mother - essentially the same thing. But I was special. I came out @$$ first and have been going thru life that way ever since.

My mother never harped on my breechedness; it was my oldest sister who informed me when I was like 9 or so: "You nearly killed Mom!"

O, yeah, sis? Well, I saw YOU take money from her purse!1!

That'll teach her to f*ck with ME!

(We breechies have a nasty streak.)

Blyfinn said...

Great analogy of the gang bang. I almost wet myself.

Carolina John said...

I think what you're really suggesting is that you like getting gang banged by things other than gym equipment?

hi mom!

Count of Monte Christo said...

It's great how you buy your mother the same type of gift on each of your trips.
Being a sucker for tradition, I totally see the point.

The magnets are especially great for you to have a look at when visiting her, and to see where you have sent her stuff from.

Calyx Meredith said...

I always forget that two day rule too. I'm all congratulating myself the day after and the next day I can't lift my arms to brush my hair. Every. time. Good job on the workout!

Roisin said...

Awwwww...that's so sweet. I'd no idea there was a separate day for Mums. These are all good things to know ;)

Ms. V. said...

My Mom's coming from LA, so I'll wish her a happy Mother's day in my best accent.

Hope you feel better!!!

MCM Mama said...

Apparently you don't run your blog through the mom filter before you post. LOL Every time I talk to my parents', they comment on something I've said, so I've had to think about whether I really want them to read something.

Good job on the workout!

Viper said...

Periodic TMI, boobs, gang bangs -- mum raised a classy lass.

carpeviam said...

I can totally feel the luv between you and your mum. What a good daugher you are!

And now I kinda feel funny about the whole tit/ass exchange. But, not funny enough to NOT go through with it. ;)

aron said...

LOL at the gang bang :)

what a great daughter you are :)

Melanie said...

How fun! I actually decided to start collecting magnets on my trips a while back. It's definitely a good way to go. They're usually inexpensive, easy to get home (or mail in this case), and take up little space. And it's fun for people to see them and to get to tell them all about where they came from. I bet your mom loves getting to explain them to house guests!

tfh said...

Oh, yes. The two-day muscle soreness rule, which I always feel is God punishing me for my 1-day-after hubris ("HA! I don't feel sore! I guess I don't know my own strength.") Anyway, I have two tricks: drink a glass of water mixed with baking soda (ewwww) and bathe in an epsom salt bath (ahhhh).

Speaking of baths (not Bath), happy Mothering Sunday, Xenia's mom. Why not take a sitz bath for old time's sake? (Did I spell that right? The only reason I actually know about sitz baths is from my own mum's tales of birthing woe.)

joyRuN said...

It feels like I got gang-banged by the exercise equipment at the gym.

GASP! You let your dear mum read that?!

Please don't tell me she reads the commentary.

(Happy Mothering Day, Xenia's Mum!)

So you picked up magnets, huh? What about some damn Bath bottle openers?? Bathopeners?

Eh - it's no Popener.

chia said...

Are you sure we don't have the same mother ;-).

I pray for your abs!

Carly said...

You are really are a sweet daughter! I always forgot to send the card after I buy them. I literally have years of Mother's Day cards sitting here.

Nice job on the workout. LMAO at the "It feels like I got gang-banged by the exercise equipment at the gym."

X-Country2 said...

I love fun mail!

Sorry about the exercise equiptment violation. :o)

Anonymous said...

I Love You


MOM

theloosemoose said...

YOUR mom couldn't sit normally for a month after child birth? Imagine ME giving birth to moose calves - those antlers were a bitch.

And check out that preceding comment. It appears that your mum has finally commented on your blog! Either that or you have one very confused stalker.

Nice job on the workout. Hope your parts feel better soon.

Scope Dope Cherrybomb said...

As a mom I appreciate the sentiment for your mom. I have done all but the last of your suggestions. No, not the gang-banging by gym equipment. LOL

Hoping we will meet some day soon.