Monday, 9 March 2009

What it feels like for a girl

Thanks to the horrors of Mother Nature, I was awakened at the ass-crack of dawn on Saturday by the most horrendous cramps I’ve had in years. Seriously, they woke me up out of a dead sleep and that is virtually unheard of for me. Well, except for when certain people who reside above me decide to get their freak on. I proceeded to spend the next two plus hours drifting in and out of painful consciousness until finally at 7:30 am I gave up and got out of bed.

It was a toss up whether to down a bottle of ibuprofen or go for a run. Way back in the day when I was a youngin and didn’t know any better, I was told that exercise helped alleviate the lady cramps. My half marathon experience proved that theory to be full of crap. However, I’m nothing if not stubborn and masochistic, so I thought I’d give it another go. Mostly because my Advil supply is dwindling and I’m too cheap to shell out for more right now.

So I suited up and headed out for a run. Originally I had planned on doing the 6 mile loop, but then said to hell with it and stopped just after 4 miles. I don’t know why I stopped. Running had actually made my cramps go away, but I was still in a foul mood (thank you, rampaging hormones) and I just didn’t feel like continuing. Yes, I realize the reasons for starting and ending my run are completely contrary, but that’s how I roll when riding the crimson wave.

Have I lost my male readership yet?

Today I’m getting by on no sleep and a whole lotta caffeine. I should be passed out in an exhausted heap on my desk right now, but instead I’m heading out to lunch soon with friends who are evil enough to take advantage of my compromised mental state by daring me to do stupid stuff. Which of course I will do without batting an eye. This day is not going to end well for me, I can just tell.

Hope you all have a great day. Catch up with you later.

30 comments:

Melanie said...

good job getting out there for a run with those cramps! I woulda stayed curled up in a ball in bed. Enjoy the coffee.

Calyx Meredith said...

Yay you for making yourself run to alleviate the cramps. No way could I do that. Have fun doing the stupid stuff with the caffeinated crowd.

The Laminator said...

Oh...for a minute there, I thought you were sleep-running...'cause that's the only kind of cramps I know that would wake me up in the morning...

Kidding! Hope you have a good day, and feel better!

Marcy said...

We are on the same cycle (isn't that nice to know? Actually, I think we talked about this before somewhere . . . HAHA)

Ohhh chica I hear you on the caffeine. Bring it to me!

tfh said...

Worst ever cramps seem to be going around. Hope you're feeling better and that at least if you do something stupid on a dare, the prize will be a bottle of brand-new ibuprofen.

RazZDoodle said...

What the hell are you talking about? I closed my ears and yelled "LA LA LA LA LA!" during that part in health class.

chia said...

Whoa, you're lucky. Coffee only makes me more crampy, moody, and all around intolerable :-(. Tomorrow will be better!

Jamie said...

caffeine makes me more a pms bitch. Nice job getting those 4 miles done.

Viper said...

crimson tide ... nice touch.

Ms. V. said...

~spews coffee~

That was great...and sadly, so accurate.

Count of Monte Christo said...

Yes, lost me on the first bit...

Getting by on no sleep and loads of caffeine usually result in the best days ;-)

Good luck with the friends - and make sure they do not have a camera on them for when you are doing the "Stupid stuff".

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Have I lost my male readership yet?

I'm still with ya, sister, and at this point I was still hoping you'd end this post with another edition of "Boot-Knockin' Rommates" complete with sound effects and maybe even a final, whispered "Goodness, dear, that was the BEST anal EVER!" - because, then, here comes your male readership stampeding back!1!

Or at least some more inflated condom sex videos.

But alas, I got neither.

Good job running thru the crimson tide.

X-Country2 said...

Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

Heather said...

I'm impressed that you got out for a run with those cramps. I would have gone for the Ibuprofen (mixed with half a bottle of wine, of course).

Blyfinn said...

Okay I think I almost lot it with the crimson tide reference. That was great.

Roisin said...

I could use that caffeine right now. Lots and Lots of it...

Ted said...

Crimson tide ! Ahem ! Next time, go to Starbuck, ask for a red eye coffee.

footfeathers said...

Hold on, let me go turn off the Lifetime channel, so we can chat.

Talk about uncomfortable topics in certain company, "The Anatomy of Sex" was on the Discovery channel two nights ago, complete with a cat scan of a couple er, um, 'engaged'. The guy watching the blue glow of the x-ray monitor...in motion was like, "This is incredible... amazing."

My dog walked into the room and I quickly changed the channel to motorcycle racing.

Theresa said...

Damn, I hate periods like that. Get some sleep and ditch the caffiene!

theloosemoose said...

Poor Xenia. Aunt FLo was visiting me at the one and only ultra I ran. Aunt Flo can be a real bitch.

MCM Mama said...

I'm right there with ya, chica. Although, the one good thing bearing two children did for my body is end the horrid cramps I used to get. Now I just get emotional and want to divorce my husband and sell the kids. Luckily that only lasts one day. LOL

Good job getting out for the run. Hope the day didn't end too badly for you.

Merry said...

I'm impressed with your dedication! (Um... can I borrow it for a little while?)

IRJessica said...

Hahahahaha. You kill me. The day wasn't going to end well for you? I feel bad for anyone that crosses you! Haha. I hope your lunch is fun.

joyRuN said...

Damn, girl! The only time my uterus was painfully contracted enough to wake me up was when I was in labor. I'd have to hang myself if it was a monthly event.

I hear you on the mood swings. I swear my kids'll be in therapy complaining of my apparent bipolarness.

So what stupid stuff did you get suckered into??

Marci said...

Chocolate and/or red wine cures all. Seriously.

Vava said...

In these types of situations, all I can say is, "Thank God I'm a man!" (or a reasonable facsimile)

Danielle said...

I have also been told that running is good for hangovers.

Not so much.

carpe viam said...

Haha! You're hilarious! I can completely empathize. I usually down 1/2 a bottle of Advil, wallow in self-pity for a bit, down the other 1/2 bottle and begrudgingly run, because I'm convinced it will work. Never seems to. Hope you're on the mend...

Meg said...

I can't believe the cramps went away!! I remember reading in magazines that exercise lessened cramps, and my mom told me that they used to tell her that when she was young and it was BS. I've never found it to help!!
I hate waking up with cramps, it's the worst. If they were to come on during the day, you'd have time to take something. But I feel like when they show up when you're sleeping you don't wake up until it's too late and they're full-on painful.
Alright that's the most I've ever written about cramps, I'm going to shut up now!!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Hee hee. Thanks for the laugh. I don't think I would've gotten out there under the circumstances.