Monday, 27 April 2009

Crazy Eights

The humiliation challenge is now officially over. Here’s my final week’s breakdown:

Monday – 5 miles
Thursday – 3.1 miles
Saturday – 5.1 miles
Sunday – 4.5 miles
Total – 17.7 miles

Overall I hit my minimum mileage mark of 17 miles for 4 out of the 5 weeks. Not bad if I do say so myself. Now all that remains is to find out the results of my competitors to determine who is the ultimate winner of the challenge. Just a reminder, the winner gets to write posts on the losers’ blogs as a show of their superiority. In the event of a tie, we’ll leave it up to you, the readers, to decide who the winner shall be.

Frankly, my money’s on XC2.

Poor Vanilla. I emailed him for a few pointers on the proper way to sell my soul and in the end I didn’t follow his advice, retained my soul and took a couple of potshots at him in the process. He then tried to be a smartass, so now I’m going to get in one more dig before I finally let the whole thing die. To be fair, I think I’m the twit who brought up Star Wars in the first place, but that’s not going to stop me from torturing him with it a bit more.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...Vanilleia. (Editor’s note: Sounds like an STD, no?)

The Photoshop work is courtesy of a friend since I’m completely clueless with that program and don’t even have it on my laptop anyway.

Vanilla, you make a hot chick. You know, except for the fact that you're a butterface. :) FYI, there’s another non-Star Wars Photoshop creation involving both you and Nitmos, but that’s being saved for another time and another post. Prepare yourself.

You’re never going to get into an email exchange with me again, are you? ;)

It’s all about me
The lovely joyRuN tagged me for the 8-meme. I’ve done so many of these by now, I’m pretty sure you all know almost everything about me so I’m going to have a little fun with this one. Here goes:

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Ran
2. Went to the bathroom multiple times
3. Thought about doing some work
4. Decided not to do any work
5. Picked my nose
6. Picked a wedgie
7. Passed gas
8. Reveled in my hotness

8 Things I Wish I Could Do/Want to Do
1. Make a living doing absolutely nothing
2. Poop fruit
3. Fly so I don’t waste so much money on airplane tickets
4. Scratch that last one. Make it teleportation. That way I can bring luggage.
5. Eat anything I want and not gain weight
6. Re-enact all the running scenes in Run Lola Run
7. Smack people who irritate me without fear of retaliation or incarceration
8. Lick the Spartan cast from the movie 300 (pre-battle, of course)

8 Shows I Watch
I’m skipping this entirely since I don’t watch tv often and I can’t be bothered to make this section funny right now.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To
1. Officially being diagnosed with Tourette's
2. The day I’m not afraid to admit I had a huge crush on Russell Crowe (during the Gladiator days, of course)
3. Getting knocked up by a kilt-wearing Scot and explaining to my future child that no, contrary to appearances, daddy is not a cross-dresser
4. Retirement
5. Hitting people with my cane
6. Running people over with my wheelchair
7. Pooping myself and having it be acceptable
8. Three words: Early Bird Special

8 Things I Want to Know More About: Tag You're It!
I wasn’t going to tag anyone in particular, but then I thought of Razz. God knows, he needs the blog material. So...
1 – 8. Razz

Have a great week, everyone. Catch up with you when I can.


Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Hahahahahaha!! Those are some funny crazy 8's, sister!

As for Vanilleia ... I'd hit that. (But then I would've even before he went all girly.)

I'll never cross you for now I know that Teh Farce Is Strong in This One.

Jess said...

Nice job on the humiliation challenge! Even if you don't come in first, I don't think you're going to come in last!

Marcy said...

HAHAHHAHAAAA!! Wow G, if you'd hit that then what does that say about Dr Nic? :P ;-)

Don't forget your senior citizen discount!! I so can't wait!

I also agree with #8 on your things to do . . .yum-o!

RazZDoodle said...

To make one list of 8 things is one thing. More than one taxes my attention span. :)

tfh said...

OMG, I went to the bathroom yesterday, too!

Those Vanilleia pics are brilliant.

Carolina John said...

hahah, that's a great list. but i can't let vanilla ruin princess leia for me. and i'm becoming dissapointed that you're calling Glaven a "friend" without preceding those words with "pooped on my"

Nitmos said...

There's no cure for Vanilleia. I think you get it from interaction with an Ewok (wink, wink, if you know what I mean.)

carpeviam said...

Love your 8's! I'm going out on a limb here, but I think you have some sexual inclinations toward toward scantilly clad men in skirts. Hmmm... I can't fault you, of course. I can only love you more for it.

Viper said...

Well, this post ruined the Star Wars fantasy for men of my generation. Luckily, this cubicle is equipped with a vomit bucket.

Roisin said...

I think I just might have to watch "300" and "Gladiator" tonight.


Jamie said...

Great job on the challenge! And those pics are just oh so wrong...

Hilarious top 8!

Vanilla said...

The Hell? You e-mail me for advice and this is the thanks I get?

Oh, and is it wrong that I'm INSANELY turned on by those pics? I mean seriously, I think that's an improvement, no?

Ace said...

/agree with Viper. The once cherished images of a young Carrie Fisher are forever...corrupted... :)

The Laminator said... more Star Wars for me ever again. Thanks...thanks alot!

Xenia, your list of 8's is hilarious. I think I like running people in a wheelchair the best because I seriously considered that when I sat in one after a marathon and thought the exact same thing...
boy that would be fun...

Or maybe we could get into a wheelchair race...Just sayin'

Crabby McSlacker said...

Those Vanilla photos totally made my day. Can not WAIT for the Vanilla/Nitmos combo extravaganza.

MCM Mama said...

LOVE those pictures! It's all Star Wars all the time at our house right now, so now I'll be giggling at inappropriate places when the boys are watching the movies.

Anonymous said...

I'm not too sure about Scots. I mean, have you seen the purse that goes with the skirt? They are tough and man enough, but I wouldn't want to go clothes shopping in Edinburgh - or Fort William for that matter.

Irish Cream said...

HA! Priceless! Note to self: do not f*ck with Xenia! :)

Also, I am suddenly looking very much forward to being elderly.

X-Country2 said...

That is photoshop used perfectly! I'm not sure how I'll grade myself, but you certainly kicked butt. :o)

Ted said...

Good job on the challenge. The pictures are quite hilarious.

You have a crush on Russell Crowe. Just be careful, he has a tendency to throw cellphone at people.

Theresa said...

Well done on the running challen...agh, my eyes! My eyes!

joyRuN said...

Good call on picking your nose first then the wedgie. Especially since the wedgie seemed to have released some pent up gas.

But did you end up with a booger on yo' @$$ all day?

@ GP - ew

raulgonemobile said...

Love the pics.. hilarious. The lists of 8 are great, too.

I think XC2 has this one, from what I've been reading, but it's been fun to watch

Anonymous said...

"Pooping myself and having it be acceptable."

Am I right in assuming, then, that this is currently NOT an acceptable practice? Uh oh..