Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Trivial Tuesday

Let’s just say that focus is not one of my virtues at the moment. Read the disjointed post below at your own risk.

This morning I went for my final run of the month—an easy 3.6 miles with a half dozen fartleks thrown in for good measure. This brings my monthly tally to just over 64 miles, my new highest mileage month of the year. Yay! Next month, I hope to surpass this total yet again. I’ve got a pseudo running plan set up for the next eight weeks. Now let’s see if I have the attention span to follow it, shall we.

My lower back has ached off and on for about a week now. I think it’s because of my crappy desk chair. See, work is bad for me.

Thanks to Roisin, my new favorite website is Texts From Last Night. Love. It.

I’ve signed up for swimming lessons which begin in three and a half weeks. I’ve never had proper lessons before so my current mode of swimming makes me look like a spaz. I’m hoping to correct that.

Since I’m gonna be in a bathing suit for all to see, you know what that means don’t you. It’s bikini waxing time again! I will of course give you all the gory details since I am a TMI machine. You can thank me later.

Okay, sadly that is all for me today. Have a great rest of the week, everyone. Catch up with you when I can.

Later gators.

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Future not so bright, don't need to wear shades

For a while now I’ve felt like something’s been missing. Then I realized it’s been way too long since I’ve had a good quality, long-winded, inappropriate mental breakdown on this blog.

Let’s have at it, shall we!

Recently I’ve made a timetable for the rest of my PhD work. The results were sobering to say the least. There are three possible outcomes.

1) Submit my dissertation by next summer which allows me to apply for jobs for next fall (2010), the process for which begins this fall. Special note—I’d be applying at one of the worst times ever for university positions. Go me.

2) Submit next fall, apply for jobs for the following year (2011) and until then flounder around somewhere with part-time teaching work. Or potentially prostitution. Depends on the job market conditions.

3) Not submit at all as my student visa expires at the beginning of 2011 and I am way too cheap to renew that bad boy. This results in the ‘Flight of Shame’ as I return to the states and get a job working a fryolator* to pay off my remaining undergrad student loan debt. Good times.

Basically what this all comes down to is that I have a shit ton of work to do in a very short period of time. What is making this extra distressing for me is that I feel like I’ve barely seen anything of England and I’ve lived here for four freaking years already. Bloody hell.

Once I get back from digging in October, it’s going to be all hands on deck on the good ship Hurry The F*ck Up. The theme songs fueling this period of hysteria will be The Final Countdown and the song that keeps playing on my ipod no matter how many times I reset the shuffle, Under Pressure. Go figure.

On top of all of this, there is my marathon dilemma. There’s no chance I can do one in the fall so I’m shooting for the spring. I currently have two in the running: Rome and London. However, my participation in the latter is up to the ballot which doesn’t get announced until October, so there’s no use worrying about that till then. A friend of mine is also trying to entice me to run the Neolithic Marathon with her. It’s mostly a trail race, which in and of itself is not bad except when you factor in typical English weather. I have a feeling I’d have to run it wearing Wellies and a full body condom just to make it through in one piece. Not exactly an attractive proposition at the moment.

So what does all this crap mean for you guys? Well, our relationship is going to be kinda rocky over the next year or so to say the least. There will be stretches of time when I’ll be fine and posting my usual drivel, other times when I’ll be MIA and still others when I'll freak out and threaten to leave you all permanently but then come crawling back two days later and beg you to take me back a la Razz. I’ll sorta be like that crazy crying drunk chick you accidentally pick up at a party and end up regretting later. But not so much that you won’t keep coming back for random booty calls when your social life hits a lull and you need a self-esteem boost.

Lovely, no?

So yeah, that’s what I’m dealing with right now. I’ve got two months left before I head off to excavate so I’m trying to crank out some pages before I go. I’m also trying to get into decent shape for the excavation but I keep falling off the strength training wagon which isn’t doing my stress levels any good. Eh, life sucks sometimes.

All right, that’s WAY more than enough of my bitching. Hope you’re all doing well. Catch up with you when I can. (Maybe sometime in 2012?)

Later gators.

Ran Tuesday night and this morning. Yay for finally getting off my ever-expanding ass!

*Archaeology has a lack of transferable skills. Who knew?

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Life lessons learned at a wedding

I haven’t been running and I’ve been eating as healthily as Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory the last several days.


Since I have nothing to report on the fitness front, let me regale you with things I learned at the wedding I attended this past weekend.
  • If you show mild interest in the game of cricket around a cricket fan, be prepared for a lengthy tutorial in the rules of the game.
  • Speaking different languages is not problematic for conversation—however, douchebaggery is.
  • Sometimes odd couples are the perfect match.
  • Men get just as sentimental at weddings as women, they just try to hide it more. Or not, as the case may be.
  • There is no way in hell I will ever be able to understand German.
  • It's not the smartest move in the world to make a crack about having ‘two left feet’ to someone who has a prosthetic leg.
She’s been sighted!
Apparently Marcy has made a stop in the big city before heading to Maine. She’s been mingling with the locals and definitely leaving a great impression. Check it out:

We continue to miss you, Trash Queen.

Have a great rest of the week, everyone. Catch up with you guys later.

Friday, 19 June 2009

My afternoon

A bunch of us ditched work this afternoon and went punting instead. We had a good time steering ourselves into the embankment and making fools of ourselves. My friends also helped me conquer my somewhat irrational fear of small boats which was great. The only not-so-fun part was getting punctured by stinging nettles when I took a loo break in the woods after our picnic lunch. My ass still has not forgiven me.

I had planned to run early this morning, but it was not to be. I'm still holding out hope of a late night run after dinner plans this evening as I have a wedding to attend tomorrow, but that is looking less and less likely. Eh, I'll sort something out.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Later gators.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Did she prove her worth?

I ran the 5K tempo run this morning. The actual distance was 3.18 miles. And it wasn’t so much a tempo run as a mock race. My time?


This equates to a 9:35 mile pace. I bested my 5K PR pace, but because of the stupid additional 0.08 miles I didn’t get to see a lovely sub-30 minute time on my watch. I’m a tad bitter about this. I’ll fiddle around on MapMyRun and measure out 0.08 miles backwards from my start/finish bollard in the park so I can eventually re-run this with the correct distance.

Overall I’m really happy with the improvement I’m seeing in my running log because of these tempo runs, so I’ve decided to stick with it and work up the tempo distance to 10K over the next few weeks. Hopefully I can find some local-ish races in the fall in which to show off my progress. So far though the search has turned up bupkis. So sad.

Muppet Monday
I deserved the Muppet award on Monday.

Once a week, I go shopping at the larger grocery store which is about a mile away from my house. I walk there carrying an empty backpack and a large reusable grocery bag and buy whatever I’ll need for the week.

Monday was shopping day for me. Laden down with my purchases, I made it back to my front door only to realize I had forgotten to pick my keys up off the desk before I left.


Two of my housemates are off on the continent, so that left me with the third who was working at the museum that day. So, feeling like a tired sherpa, I dragged my sorry ass along with my groceries across town to the museum to borrow her key, cursing everything I had decided to buy at the store that day—especially the supplies to make another batch of my self-shitting cookies.

My housemate was a little surprised to see me at her work place, more so for the fact that I looked like a pack mule. Turns out, she forgot to bring her lunch to work that day, so once I made it back home and put away all my foodstuffs, I then turned around and went back to the museum to deliver her packed leftovers to her. Quid pro quo and all that jazz.

Not including my regular daily walking mileage (which is something like three miles), I added an extra 4.5 miles to Monday’s tally. My feet were feeling well used by midday and I still had to go to spin class that night. Let’s just say I didn’t feel bad when I had a chocolate bar for dessert that evening. I’d definitely earned it.

All right, bitches, I gotta go. Ascot is on the tele and I’m having a fun time watching rich people having their gigantic hats blown off by the strong winds today. Oh, and the horse races are good fun too.

Happy hump day, everyone.

Monday, 15 June 2009

Only in the leap from the lion's head...

You’ve been on tenterhooks all weekend. You’re just dying to know if I ran baby tempo run #5, aren’t you?

Well, wait no longer.

Yes, I ran it, but not on Friday night. Laziness won on Friday, but determination prevailed on Saturday. The tempo distance was 2 miles (actually 2.05 miles) and the goal was to run it in under 20 minutes. The result?

19:13 for an average pace of 9:37 (or 9:22 if we add in that extra 0.05 miles).


Instead of continuing with the teeny-tiny increments in distance, I’m thinking I should try a full 5K distance this week for my tempo run. My 5K PR stands at 30:32, but that event wasn’t chip-timed and my watch recorded a finishing time of 30:16. I’d like to see if I can match this time or even better it.

Place your bets now, folks. I smell a big fat FAIL in the air already.

On Sunday morning, determination once again won out as I got in an eight miler which brought my total weekly mileage to 20.3 miles. It’s the first time this year I’ve had a 20-mile week. Halle-freaking-lujah! About damn time.

The plan for this week is to get in another 20 miles with the tempo run happening hopefully on Tuesday, but possibly Wednesday. I’ll let you know how it goes in the next post. Till then feel free to leave your two-cents and any smartass remarks in the comments. I need to be entertained, after all.

Have a great week, everyone.

Friday, 12 June 2009

Friday? Really?

Where the hell did the week go? Lordy...

So I’ve managed to get in a little bit of running this week. Monday night I ran the delayed 8 miler and, well, that’s kinda been it. Today after work I plan on running baby tempo run #5. You’ll all have to wait breathlessly until Monday to see if I complete it successfully.

I can feel the collective internet indifference from here and it’s heart-warming.

In other random news, I appear to have introduced a couple of English men to the word douchebag. (Editor’s note: I didn’t use the term in reference to them, but to a non-present third party.) Surprisingly douchebag is not a common word in the British vocabulary so we had an extensive discussion concerning its meaning, proper usage and my truncation of it into the simplified ‘douche’. Good times.

Finally, in honor of the recently retired Marcy, I thought I’d post about a new trashtastic internet find. As I was amusing myself with the pics at Fail Blog, I found a link to This Is Photobomb and some rather disturbing images. Particularly this one. Amazingly, I’m a wee bit too prudish to re-post the photo here. (Editor’s note: See, Mom, I actually do have some standards. Aren’t ya proud?)

I can’t believe that guy thought that was a good idea. I mean, I know it's not exactly a roller coaster, but those kind of amusement park rides often still scare people. What happens if that girl gets startled and accidentally bites down? Bye-bye Mr. Trouser Snake.

On that utterly disturbing note, I’d like to wish everyone a great weekend and good luck to all racers.

Later gators.

Monday, 8 June 2009

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Goals for this past weekend: run Baby Tempo run #4 and an LSD.

One out of two ain’t bad.

Saturday was rainy and dreary. I managed to get myself to the library to do some work and then later that evening, the clouds stopped spitting long enough for me to get my tempo run in. The tempo distance was 1.8 miles so I was shooting for under 18 minutes. I ended up with 17:38 for an average pace of 9:48. Yay! It was a nice kinda slowish tempo pace with all the mud and puddles to deal with, so I’m happy.

While Saturday was pretty productive, Sunday was the epitome of laziness. Instead of getting my 8 miler in, I crashed on the couch watching a Scrubs marathon and eating the remnants of a jar of Nutella. Wow, can we say healthy?

I had high hopes of getting in those missed miles this morning (Kristina, do I get points for alliteration too?), but Mother Nature had other plans for me. I woke up later than intended and in pain. I finally dragged my energy-depleted carcass into the department to try to work. The last of my Advil supply has thankfully kicked in and I’ve got a hot water bottle hidden underneath my oversized hooded sweatshirt, so now I’m all good. I look and feel pregnant, but it’s still all good.

What I’m most surprised at is my lack of rage. Usually around this time is when I want to rip people’s heads off and use them as bowling balls, but instead I’m pretty okay. Tired, but at peace. Huh, who knew that could happen?

All right, folks, that’s it from me. Hope you all had a great weekend. Catch up with you when I can.

Later gators.

Friday, 5 June 2009


It’s been a crazy week, so I’m just going to vomit out a bunch of stuff here without care for structure or coherence. Pretty much like all of Glaven’s posts, really. ;)

I’ve once again realized it’s not a good idea to run within two hours of a meal. The spicy burrito I had Monday night for dinner very badly wanted a return journey up my esophagus during my three-mile run that evening. It was so horribly uncomfortable, but I got the miles in and didn’t spew during or after so I consider that run a Win.

My running goal for June will be to run more than 62 miles, the highest monthly mileage I’ve tallied so far in 2009. This means I need to run at least 20 miles per week, a feat I have sadly yet to accomplish even once this year. :(

I haven’t run Baby Tempo run #4 yet this week. I didn’t want to repeat Monday’s painful run again last night, so I went for a four mile walk instead. I’m planning on getting the tempo run as well as a longish run in this weekend. Here’s to hoping anyway.

There seemed to be two main questions resulting from Monday’s post, so I thought I’d go ahead and answer them.

(1) Now that the Hello Kitty stickers have been used up, I’ve switched to generic cartoon animal ones I bought in a shop here last year sometime. Not as cool as Hello Kitty, but they were super cheap so it’s all good.

(2) Though my cookies looked rather unappetizing they were actually quite tasty. Friends even willingly partook and agreed they were good. They didn’t immediately rush out of the room to throw up afterward, so I believe they were being honest.

Finally, before I go, I thought I’d steal Razz’s thunder once again by posting a song that’s been playing in my head for the last two days. Thankfully I’m still enjoying it, though I probably won’t be saying that come Monday.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Thursday, 4 June 2009

My homie

The day has arrived--Marcy is retiring. Biotch has also turned 30 today. Welcome to the dark side, my friend.

It's a sad day for me and apparently the whole of blogdom since Marcy's internet reach stretched far and wide. Marcy was the first female RBF I followed when I started blogging almost two years ago. I should probably thank Vanilla since I found her through his blog. However, he also exposed me to these jokers, so I think we've broken even.

So head on over to her blog today to wish her well and weep uncontrollably. Surprisingly I'm not weepy myself but that's only because I still get to stalk homegirl on FB. Don't even think about unfriending me, Marcy, because I'll track your ghetto ass down. :)

Marcy, thank you for being the cool, trash-talking Scarecrow to my ornery, bumbling Dorothy. It's been a blast. I hope someday we actually get to meet each other face to face. It would be quite fitting if we could do so somewhere with a yellow brick road.

Have a great day, birthday girl. You definitely deserve it.

Monday, 1 June 2009


Did somebody just call me a ho?! Oh, wait, I wrote that. Never mind then.

So way back on the first day of May, I declared that month to be Hello Kitty Sticker Month. To save you all from clicking on the link and reading that long-ass post, I’ll just summarize briefly here.

I put a sticker on my wall calendar for every day that I do some sort of intentional exercise. To earn a sticker, I had to do at least 30 minutes of cardio (a gym class, running or walking) or some strength training exercises (like the push-up and sit-up challenges). My goal for May was to use up the 29 remaining Hello Kitty stickers I had in my possession. So, how did I do?

Why, hello there!

I kicked ass. After my two day blip in the first full week (let’s just chalk that up to lady issues, shall we), I held strong for the rest of the month.

For June I want to kick it up a notch and have another more stringent challenge for myself in respect to both running and cross training. I’m still trying to sort that out though. If you have any ideas, let me know in the comments.

The Cock-Up Chronicles
Last night I decided to bake some oatmeal cookies for my sweet treat for the week. I made them worthwhile by adding dark chocolate chunks into the batter.

Smelling success in the air, I opened the oven door after the allotted fifteen minutes and was presented with a sight I was not quite prepared for.

My cookies had shit themselves. Almost literally.

Don’t believe me? Check out this photo.

When you’re sliding into first and you feel something burst...

Thank god I used parchment paper, the diaper of baking sheets.

For some reason, the chocolate I chose just decided to explode during the baking process. This has never happened to my friend who bakes a similar type of cookie. I apparently chose unwisely. Huh. You live and you learn, I guess.

On that lovely visual note, I hope you all have a great week ahead. Catch up with you when I can.

Later gators.