Thursday, 2 July 2009

Celebrating independence with the colonial oppressors, Take 2

It’s hotter than hell here. Er...or so I’m told.

Actually, I know most of you are suffering worst temps than I am, but you need to take into account that the four years I’ve spent living on this island have not only increased my tolerance for bland food and broadened my vocabulary, they've also weakened my ability to withstand high temperatures. It’s only in the 80s here and I’m bitching. If it cracks into the 90s I’m probably a goner.

Not much else to say from here. Working, hanging out, apparently giving myself a higher chance of melanoma with increased sun exposure.

So as not to leave you without any inanity, I thought I’d enlighten you all with a bit of brilliance. A couple months ago I read The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl. Of all the heartfelt and touching moments in that book, the one thing I took away was this.

If someone around you farts, particularly a significant other/friend/family member, say this:

“Shall I reply?”

Best. Line. Ever.

All right, folks, that’s it for me this week. Hope all you Canadians had a great Canada Day yesterday. And for my fellow Americans, have a happy 4th this weekend. I’m gonna try to hunt me down some wieners and set something on fire on Saturday. That sounds promising, no?

Later gators.

23 comments:

joyRuN said...

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!

joyRuN said...

Dang, I never get to be first anymore!

I'm like you - I've been complaining about the heat & we haven't even hit the 90s yet.

Lame.

Theresa said...

Up here in kilt country, it was in the upper 70s yesterday and again today! And folks are talking about how HOT it is.

(And I admit that after a couple years living here, it does indeed feel hot to me.)

But, it gets this warm up here only about once or twice every few years, so I say enjoy it before it's back in the 50s!

Carolina John said...

it's fun to get acclimated to a new climate. in the NC mountains summertime highs only get into the low 80's and i used to complain about it. none of the houses have air conditioning because you only need it about 4 days a year.

then I came back to SC and their high 90's august heat and thought I was going to die. i know how you feel.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O, Sweet Baby Jebus! (Whose feet in ancient times allegedly did walk upon England's mountains green, to which I say double-pfffttt! because no they didn't and what mountains green in f*cking England?!1? There are none!)

But back to my main point:

O, SBJ, Xenia! Has it come to THIS? Blogging about the weather?

And look whose got a boner about it! Carolina Cletus! "Oooo! Oooo! Ah gotz me sum weather stories, hyeah-hyeah!1!"

Pathetic!

Still ... Best. Post. Evah.

Viper said...

March down the street, singing the Star Spangled Banner and burn the Union Jack! Yeehaw! Happy 4th, limeys!

... Oh, and to you to. Cheers.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O, bloody hell! "Look who's got a boner ..."

I'm such a f*cktard.

Lily on the Road said...

That IS the Best.Line. EVER, I'm going to use it!!

Happy 4th on the 4th, but I'll be chatting at you before then!

Jess said...

Enjoy your 4th! Maybe you can secretly read the Declaration of Independence to yourself as you hold a sparkler.

raulgonemobile said...

Ooh.. I like that line..

Have a happy 4th, even if it is subdued due to a lack of participants.

RazZDoodle said...

euphemism?

Happy 4th!

Nitmos said...

Yes, this is the time to walk around self righteous and popping your suspenders (assuming you wear them.) Give 'em hell.

Roisin said...

Enjoy the weekend, and don't worry, I'll bitch about the weather too, even when it's not technically that bad.

Merry said...

Sounds like the perfect weather to hang out by the pool, being fanned by lithe tanned pool boys who also gently feed you hand-peeled grapes (not a euphemism).

All you need is a pool, a boy, and some grapes, and you're all set!

Ted said...

Have a Happy 4th of July ! It is a good thing that our founding fathers have cut the ties with the Britush!

Blyfinn said...

Celebrate loud and proud for all of us over here. Make sure you keep you nose up a little also

theloosemoose said...

On our trip to Maine we met an English motorcyling couple. The woman said something about "your July 4th", and it took all of my self control to not obnoxiously jab my finger in her face whilst singing bad patriotic songs.

And she was a really nice woman. I am just an ugly American, I guess.

RunningLaur said...

Oh acclimation. It does such horrible things. I actually wore a sweater all day last Thursday and it hit 110F.

Happy 4th!

Irish Cream said...

I swear that I start to suffer from "heat exhaustion" once the mercury climbs above 70! Whine away ;)

Hope you have a wonderful 4th!

Count of Monte Christo said...

Sorry to hear about the heat in UK. Good thing about northern Europe is that this type of weather never sticks. It's either HOT or wet and sh.tty :-D

Have a great weekend

Danielle in Iowa said...

It is rainy and gross here. I am hoping this translates into good dissertation writing weather, despite it being a holiday weekend and all. Hiding in my windowless office will seem so much less offensive if it is raining...

Good luck finding some weiners! And I hope you find some hot dogs too!

Scope Dope Cherrybomb said...

Hope you had a great 4th and thanks for your good wishes for us Canadians. Sorry it's so hot there. We are having your weather here. Cool like spring. Low to mid 60s.

Spike said...

nothing says freedom like burning meat, nothing! also, do they celebrate the 4th in the UK, like the way my parents celebrate the day their annoying and ungrateful son moved out?