Monday, 20 July 2009

Monday Miscellany

Here’s a little bit of everything for you.

Despite the weather being a little nasty, I managed to run both days this weekend. Take that Mother Nature! (Dear Mother Nature—Just kidding! Please don’t punish me for that.)

Bean soup + vegetarian lasagne = significant gaseous emissions. Sorry, Ozone. My bad.

A little while ago I was just stepping outside my front door to go for a run when my neighbor saw me. Noticing my attire, he asked, “Going for a run?” I answered in the affirmative. He then made a face that clearly expressed his dislike for running. I laughed and went on my merry way as his wife proceeded to berate him for trying to escape to the pub.

I need to set up an appointment with the waxer this week as my first swimming lesson is on Friday. Must remember to down copious amounts of ibuprofen in preparation for onslaught of pain. Wah.

Last week, I texted my (one sane) flatmate this: “Went 2 bakery & bought iced cookie man. Just took him out of bag & he only has one arm. I got gypped!” While at the bakery, I also picked her up a gingerbread man (I hate to get fat alone) and left it on her desk with this note: “Your cookie dude has all his appendages. Lucky bitch. –X”

All right, folks, that’s it for me. Hope you all had a great weekend. Here’s to a non-sucky week ahead.

Later gators.

11 comments:

Count of Monte Christo said...

Significant gaseous emissions can be a very good method of propulsion. I tried it a number of times and (sorry people behind me), it works like a charm.

Have a great week!

Jamoosh said...

Prejudiced against one-armed mean are?

The Laminator said...

I hope you mocked the hell out of your neighbor the next time he gives you the opportunity...

Jess said...

You should have traded cookies.

carpeviam said...

Can't wait for the waxing! I LOVE your waxing adventures.

Wow. I sound way too excited about that. My apologies.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

FIRST!!1!

Yeah, that's right, I said FIRST, so F*CK YOU, you five people above me with the exception of Teh Laminator, Jamoosh and, possibly, The Count of Monte Christo, whose coffee pot avatar makes it unclear whether s/he's a dude or a skirt - because I'm all man and i don't do dudes, but I'm still FIRST!1!

Back to leading with teh weather, are we Young Warrior Archæologist? Well, that's okay, because you end with implying you left your "sane" flatmate a penis to eat. Plus, carpeviam gets all lesbian over your upcoming waxing, so all-in-all I rate this post:

HAWT!1!

Nitmos said...

You have canniballistic tendencies. Not even happy unless you can consume the ENTIRE human shaped baked good. Did you pick your teeth with the iced rib cage bone?

Kristina said...

'Gypped?' Wow. I've always thought it was 'jipped.' Who knew a post about farting and defective cookie men could contain a teachable moment?

X-Country2 said...

Aww, you're the best flatmate ever.

theloosemoose said...

Damn! The arm is the tastiest part. After the gingerbread penis, of course.

Robert James Reese said...

I love the neighbor comment. My French neighbor always times me -- I came home yesterday and he goes, "43 minutes, not bad." All you can do is laugh...

Good luck on the swimming. Glad it's you and not me. :-)