Monday, 16 November 2009


Thank you, ladies, for all your excellent advice. Right now I’m treating last week’s episode as a one-off but if it happens again, off to the GP I go.

This weekend, I ran both Saturday and Sunday. Short distances as I’ve hardly been running lately and I didn’t want to risk injury by going all gung-ho crazy at the start. This morning I awoke amidst a rainstorm and got my shit together to head off to the gym for swim practice. I’m gonna learn how to do the front crawl properly even if it kills me. Which should be about Wednesday, I think.

Anyhoo, as the holidays inch ever closer, I’ve been making travel plans. I’ll be flying back to the states in mid-December and hanging out in the homeland for about three weeks. Three weeks of quality friends and family time, but, more importantly, three weeks to consume vast quantities of my favorite foods which I can’t get in England. I realize I don’t live in the backend of nowhere but there are plenty of foods you just can’t get over here. At least not without selling off an appendage or two to pay for it.

Here’s my list of must-eat foods while I’m stateside. So far, that is.
  • grandma’s balls (of the chocolate peanut butter variety—get your mind out of the gutter, pervs)
  • root beer (also possibly a root beer float)
  • chinese food (it’s different over here—not bad, just different)
  • christmas dinner (turkey with all the trimmings—I’m probably missing out on Thanksgiving so I’m really looking forward to this)
  • cheesesteak with mushrooms (from my cousin’s restaurant)
  • pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms (also from my cousin’s restaurant)
  • York peppermint patty
  • applesauce (they don’t do this over here—only this ultra sweet bramley crap for cooking with meat. I want my snack pack, bitch.)
  • different dishes of greek food (because it always tastes better when made by my family)
  • Cheetos (Z and I have a long-standing tradition of eating Cheetos and playing board games during the holidays. It’s our thing. Don’t judge.)
  • fudge (mom’s is the best)
  • pie—pumpkin, apple, blueberry... I don’t care just give me a slice.
  • Mexican food—preferably a chicken chimichanga and some garlic nachos with some super hot salsa.
Obviously I’ll also need a supersized bucket in which to vomit after I consume all of this crap as well as a seatbelt extension on my return flight to England. I don’t care. It’ll be worth it.

Ah, America, how I miss you.


Calyx Meredith said...

York peppermint patties are American? Who knew?

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Since you left? America adopted a new motto*:


Even if you qualify for entry right now, obviously you won't anymore about midway through your visit.


*(Former motto: "By entering our country, you agree to being tortured, renditioned, or both." We're a kinder, though less politically correct, nation now. So, really, not much kind then, psychologically speaking. But that's YOUR problem, fattie-to-be.)

Theresa said...

You can't get decent peanut butter over here either. I always manage to make room for a jar or two to bring home.

Oh, and pepperjack cheese slices! They make the BEST grilled cheese sandwiches. Something else I also smuggle back.

Spike said...

your grandmas balls sound delicious.

sorry, but it had to be said.

joyRuN said...

So you gonna give me my Popener in PERSON?!?!?! Double bonus!!!

Now, really. They don't have Cheetos over there?

I've just developed an intense dislike for England.

Morgan said...

LMAO at all your food cravings!!! I can't imagine not having access to York Peppermint Patties or Applesauce... W.T.F!

Lily on the Road said...

That's the same list as last year, LMAO.....

I can't believe we are inching our way to Christmas! YIKES...

SteveQ said...

If you're going for pie, go pumpkin - can't get pumpkin pie filling in Europe. What I always crave when away is the weird candies I grew up with and hard to find even here; fortunately, there're websites devoted to them and they mail well.

SteveQ said...

Oh, and nice to have a subject I can comment on without alienating every woman on the planet (c'mon! ya make one gamete a month and you make a big production number out of it. Men make 10000000 EVERY DAY and we're more than willing to share 'em).

Oops. Guess I'm in for a storm of angriness!

Jess said...

I almost spit out a mouthful of water when I read "grandma's balls"! Seriously, I can't stop smiling about that phrase!

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ. no wonder we had to fight for our independence!!! It wasn't about the Stamp Act at all, was it? Those famished colonists just wanted some freakin' Cheetos!!

MCM Mama said...

I think I just gained a pound while reading this...

Heather said...

Your list made me hungry. I wonder how far I need to drive to get Mexican food this time of night?

SteveQ said...

No one rose to my bait. You win! Girls are just better than boys that way.

Ted said...

Can I join?

Ali said...

One of the things I miss about England since moving back is the Chinese food - too funny.

Totally agree about York Peppermint Patties ... delicious oh and mexican food.

lifestudent said...

I feel sad that you cant get yourself a decent chimichanga over there ;) I cant imagine having a list of foods I crave and no access to them. Around here I crave something, and then I just go get it. Its the American Dream.

The Enthusiast said...

I'm Greek and you're a Greek too?! Woohoo!

I understand the foreign food cravings, a couple of summers ago in Greece I paid 5 euro for some Jif. So much for the economy of a pb&j!

But out in England at least you have Ribena and prawn flavored crisps! (Most people gag at the crisps part, but what can I say? I love 'em!)