Someone gave me the mati.
Exhibit A: I have a mild case of athlete’s foot.
I blame it on that ho-bag woman who invaded my space in the gym showers. If she ever tries that again, I’m going to retaliate by hiking my bottom end over the partition wall and letting my bladder loose on her. However, I still need to figure out the logistics of this procedure because I don’t really feel like getting a hoo-ha full of glass shards in the process. Something to ponder.
Exhibit B: I can’t get no sleep.
Okay, that’s not exactly true. I can sleep, but just not at the time that I want. Ever since I went to the states for the holidays, my internal clock has been off. Weirdly enough this was also the first time I experienced jetlag after the England to US leg of the trip. For the first week I was in NH, I would conk out between 7:30 and 8 pm, wake up a couple hours later, try to pretend I hadn’t fallen asleep while my family mocked me for my narcoleptic tendencies, then give up the ghost and drag my carcass to bed.
Flying back to the UK sucks because I always lose sleep and have to make up for it over the next one to two weeks. It’s now been over three and a half weeks and I’m still about two hours off. This getting old shit really sucks.
I’ve taken some sleep aids at night (even some super powerful Canadian stuff a friend gave me), but all I do is wake up much later than intended and feel really groggy for the rest of the day. Last night I was actually tired pretty early so hit the hay at a respectable hour, but it still took me over two hours to fall asleep which totally screwed up my morning and prevented me from getting in my planned run. Fooooooooooooooock.
So basically, all of this adds up to me being a very tired and cranky person. Well, more so than my usual.
Recently I sent this text message to a friend:
Majorly losing concentration & will to live. Tired of diss. Want to eat burger size of my head & then lb of chocolate. F*ck my life.
The bovine sacrifice is taking place tonight. I can’t wait.