Wednesday, 27 January 2010

The Evil Eye

Someone gave me the mati.

Exhibit A: I have a mild case of athlete’s foot.

I blame it on that ho-bag woman who invaded my space in the gym showers. If she ever tries that again, I’m going to retaliate by hiking my bottom end over the partition wall and letting my bladder loose on her. However, I still need to figure out the logistics of this procedure because I don’t really feel like getting a hoo-ha full of glass shards in the process. Something to ponder.

Exhibit B: I can’t get no sleep.

Okay, that’s not exactly true. I can sleep, but just not at the time that I want. Ever since I went to the states for the holidays, my internal clock has been off. Weirdly enough this was also the first time I experienced jetlag after the England to US leg of the trip. For the first week I was in NH, I would conk out between 7:30 and 8 pm, wake up a couple hours later, try to pretend I hadn’t fallen asleep while my family mocked me for my narcoleptic tendencies, then give up the ghost and drag my carcass to bed.

Flying back to the UK sucks because I always lose sleep and have to make up for it over the next one to two weeks. It’s now been over three and a half weeks and I’m still about two hours off. This getting old shit really sucks.

I’ve taken some sleep aids at night (even some super powerful Canadian stuff a friend gave me), but all I do is wake up much later than intended and feel really groggy for the rest of the day. Last night I was actually tired pretty early so hit the hay at a respectable hour, but it still took me over two hours to fall asleep which totally screwed up my morning and prevented me from getting in my planned run. Fooooooooooooooock.

So basically, all of this adds up to me being a very tired and cranky person. Well, more so than my usual.

Recently I sent this text message to a friend:

Majorly losing concentration & will to live. Tired of diss. Want to eat burger size of my head & then lb of chocolate. F*ck my life.

The bovine sacrifice is taking place tonight. I can’t wait.

23 comments:

Lily on the Road said...

You never would have made it as a Flight Attendant ! HA!!

Jamoosh said...

Add bacon! That way you are sacrificing two species instead of just one.

Morgan said...

I can't imagine the jetlag associated with international travel! I hope you recover soon and be it with or without the lb of chocolate although let's be realistic here... everything is better with chocolate. Chin up Charlie!

Carolina John said...

settle down girl. who says you're not normally this tired and cranky?

enjoy the burger. i'm getting that same craving now, thanks for that.

ShutUpandRun said...

Wow athletes foot and no sleep. I'm sure you're pretty fun to be around right now.

Razz said...

"bovine sacrifice"....nice.

Demons out!

GeorgiaSnail said...

mmmmm, cheeseburger.....

The Merry said...

I'm sure there's a study out there somewhere conclusively proving that chocolate & burgers are a surefire cure for athlete's foot.
If not, more research is indicated. It's your duty to science to research this in depth.

Keith said...

Flip flops. I always wear them in the locker rooms and showers at the pool. If I forget them, there's a good chance I'm going to bail on the workout. I am thoroughly grossed out just thinking about what is slithering off the bodies of some of the people there.

You keep talking about partitions and shower stalls at the gym or pool. I don't get it. You're going to such a swanky place they give you individual shower stalls? If it's that swanky, how are the ho-bags affording it? Even the high end places here just have shower heads coming out of the walls in a big room.

You say eating a burger the size of your head, and a pound of chocolate - LIKE IT'S A BAD THING! Listen to your body. If that's what it wants, go for it. You'll feel better after, I'm sure.

K said...

Haa haa. Your post made me laugh out loud. I say you throw a little excrement on the ho-bag--a la our simian cousins. Then no need to remove the glass shards from the kibbles/bits. Don't ask me about the logistics though. That's up to you.

Roisin said...

Jet lag is terrible. My aunt has been traveling back and forth from India and is going through the same thing. Unfortunately, the only things that help are time and alcohol.

Of course, if you can combine alcohol and sleep aids, the process will be much quicker. Just be sure you don't have any appointments the next day.

Mike Antonucci said...

This is divine payback for the Popeners. Benedict gave you the mal occhio.

SteveQ said...

Any way you can work bovine sacrifice and athlete's foot into the dissertation?

Ms. V. said...

Okay, this is like the bi-polar blog post from yesterday's happy blog.

Go do #7, and check back in the morning.

:)

MCM Mama said...

Definitely flip flops.

MMM, burger.

I hear you on the not sleeping. I spent entirely too much time last night staring at the ceiling. The only good part was Jones didn't sleep well either, so I was already awake when he called out for me. Sigh.

Danielle said...

I got plantar warts in the shower at the gym. I will never shower there again without flip flops.

Jamie said...

The no sleeping sucks! Try melatonin. It helps with the falling asleep at a regular time and doesn't leave you groggy.

Jess said...

I agree, flip flops.

Sorry to hear about the jet lag! I've never taken a sleep aid, but once in college, I took an obscene quantity of Nyquil when I had a cold, and I accidentally wandered into the wrong dorm room thinking it was mine. Very scary. But, pretty funny in retrospect.

theloosemoose said...

You're doing "super powerful Canadian stuff"? Gawd! And Keith never mentioned a word about this on his blog.

Hope you catch some Zzzzzzzs soon.

Kristina said...

I can't sleep either these days and want to crash in the middle of the day. Maybe if we did a house swap we could both get a week of decent sleepage.

X-Country2 said...

Yeesh, sounds like no fun. Find yourself some M&Ms. That always seems to help me.

The Enthusiast said...

Are you wearing your blue bead? (Do all Greeks do that or just the quacks from my village/island?)

Harry Potter movies always entice me to sleep... and there's no grogginess the next day!

Sheryl said...

Burger the size of my face and 1lb of chocolate. I totally hear ya on that one!

Death to the ho-bag who gave you athlete's foot! Hope you're getting more sleep these days.