Monday, 18 January 2010

Get away from me

It’s Day One of the month-long triathlon challenge, so this morning I woke up late (f*ck) and headed to the gym for a swim. I need to start waking up earlier, because halfway through my planned thirty minutes the pool was full. I get self-conscious practicing the front crawl when there is more than one other person in the pool because, like I’ve said before, I end up looking like a retarded baby whale missing a flipper. To avoid potential embarrassment, I did the breaststroke instead.

Laps done, I exited the pool and headed for the showers. The shower stall walls are made of slightly opaque glass, although I’m beginning to think the opaque part is the result of soap scum build-up. Anyhoo, I’m rinsing the conditioner out of my hair when I glance over at the wall on the right and notice that my silhouette looks a bit weird. I take a closer look and am further perplexed as I know my boob doesn’t look like that. Then I realize I’m actually seeing a clear outline of the woman in the stall next to mine. My brain screams ‘ABORT, ABORT!!’ so I look away, hurriedly finish my shower routine and get the hell out of there.

What I couldn’t understand is why the woman chose that stall. There are ten stalls, five on each side of the room. When I jumped in my stall there was only one other person using the showers. This woman had eight stalls at her disposal but she chose the one next to mine. Maybe it’s because I’m a little sensitive about my personal space being violated, but I always move at least one stall over if I can. This woman obviously doesn’t have personal space issues. Either that or she was trying to get a look at my chichis. WTF!

On that note, I’d like to wish you all a painless and hopefully violation-free week ahead. I’ll catch up with you all when I can.

Later gators.

16 comments:

Carolina John said...

dudes follow the same rule at the urinals. leave at least one urinal vacant between you and the next dude, even if there are privacy shields.

my gym actually has 4 stalls for showers, most of which don't work. the other wall has 4 showers with no stalls - group shower style. they usually work. group showers have never bothered me.

Razz said...

you wrote "breaststroke". Blog post WIN.

MCM Mama said...

You know she was there to check you out...

LOL

The Merry said...

It's a secret society. These are the same people who will park right next to you in an otherwise deserted parking lot.
They like you, they really really like you. It's kinda creepy.

Jamoosh said...

Is there video of this stroke you call the retarded baby whale?

Keith said...

Shower stalls? What are those?

If we're swimming together, I'd much much rather you did a slow front crawl, than a breast stroke. Unless your breast stroke is faster than my front crawl.

theloosemoose said...

That's creepy. I'd just do without the shower and accept the fact that my hair would slowly turn green from the chlorine.

ShutUpandRun said...

She was obviously making a pass at you by choosing that stall.

X-Country2 said...

You're probably thinking way too much about your retarded baby whale stroke. It's way hard to watch someone swim when you're swimming yourself.

Well, unless you caught someone's eye and they wanted a closer look at shower time. :o)

Sheryl said...

lol that totally reminds me of that scene in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle where Kumar pulls over and goes into this forest to pee in the bushes. Then some random doode comes from out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him. haha

I'm sure your retarded baby whale stroke is not that bad =) at least you know how to do something other than than the doggie paddle, which is all I know =)

Mike Antonucci said...

At least she didn't scream, "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!"

The Enthusiast said...

First off - you got up (even though late) and did your thing. Awesome.

Secondly, you were very seriously being quasi hit on in the shower. No lady, regardless of body awareness, should get that close to another naked lady. Unless it's like both their things and they're both consenting.... right.

carpeviam said...

Well, if you hadn't sprung for the "conditioning" portion of your hair care routine, you wouldn't have had to put up with that. Next time, just shampoo. And quickly!

Danielle said...

Next time you should just start doing a suggestive dance - then she'll think you are the creepy one hitting on her and she'll avoid you like the plague! Or hit on you some more...

Kristina said...

I think you should have leaned against the glass to really freak her out and teach her a lesson about strategic shower stall choices.

Roisin said...

That happens to me at gym showers and train seats too. I've been on the train in a completely empty car and someone will either choose the seat right behind me or just sit next to me.

Can't they see our personal space bubbles?!?!?!