It is a truth universally acknowledged that a runner in taper must be in want of stuffing their face with copious amounts of food.
Well, at least in my case.
I’ve been eating a lot of very bad things lately—muffins, cupcakes, cookies, key lime pie. Although part of it can be blamed on tapering, most of it is actually the result of stress eating. Thanks a lot, stupid dissertation.
In an effort to rectify the situation, I have declared today to be No-Added Sugar Day. No candy or sweet baked good will pass my lips this day. In fact, I won’t even be adding sugar to my tea. This morning I ate a healthy breakfast of oatmeal with skim milk. I have fruit for my morning and afternoon snacks (natural sugars are exempt) and all-natural peanut butter on whole wheat bread, carrot sticks and baked crisps for lunch. Dinner will be this.
Since I’m a processed sugar junkie, I expect to have the shakes by 3 pm at the latest. The roaring, fire-breathing and total decimation of the poor sods in my vicinity will follow soon after.
Aren’t you glad you don’t know me in real life?
During my family’s visit a couple of weeks ago and the souvenir shopping that ensued, I went in search of a bottle opener with the image of the Queen on it. Since Italy has the Popener, I assumed England would have a Queenener. I was proven wrong.
It wasn’t for lack of trying either. We visited Windsor for god’s sake and even amongst all the tacky royal tourist crap in the shops there not a single Queenener was not to be found. You might think it was because of some sense of propriety, but there were shot glasses with the Queen’s face on them. How can a bottle opener be worse than that?
The only bottle opener that was even slightly amusing enough for me to purchase was one with Big Ben on it, because it was kind of phallic.
Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old. Why do you ask?
I’m hoping there will be more amusing bottle openers in Scotland when I’m there next weekend. They pretty much hate England and the Queen so it’s a good bet.
Before I sign off, I want to wish good luck to Jamie and MCM Mama who are running marathons this weekend and Anna from Adios, Fat Pants! who's running her first half marathon. Kick some ass, ladies!
Happy weekend, everyone.