Friday, 9 July 2010

Reprieve

The children are safe and sound and I remain a teetotaller...mostly because I didn’t end up babysitting last night. Did their parents think better of leaving the little ones in my deranged care for a night? Possibly. Or did it have to do with the event which they were supposed to attend being cancelled? Sure. I still think it’s the former excuse, because two days ago I made a point of asking where the drugs were kept so that I could sedate the children.

Well, I thought it was funny.

Anyway I still have to pay my friends back for helping me move, so now I live in fear that I will be called upon to babysit sometime in the near future. Thankfully I’m ditching England for the next two weeks. A short reprieve, but a much needed one.

Since I didn’t babysit, I lost out on a prime opportunity to bitch-slap my hormonally driven urge to spawn. To remedy the situation, I got a bikini wax yesterday. Because there’s nothing like inflicting pain on your hoo-ha to get yourself to reconsider your brief but insane desire to fire a human cannonball out of your nether region.

That should do for the next month. In multiple ways.

On the exercise front, I’ve still done jack all. However the weather today is freaking beautiful, so I’m hoping to get a short run in tonight which will be the inaugural run of the Bondi Band. After I’ve used the band on a few runs, I’ll post a review of my spoils of war luck, but probably not until after I get back from my working holiday.

Ok, folks, that’s it for me. Have a good weekend. I’ll try to post again next week, but if not, I’ll be back again in a fortnight. (Yes, they actually use that word here. It’s awesome.)

Later gators.

14 comments:

joyRuN said...

Because there’s nothing like inflicting pain on your hoo-ha to get yourself to reconsider your brief but insane urge to want to fire a human cannonball out of your nether region.

Have you not been reading my blog? Why would you ever get the urge to squeeze a human being out of your vag? And then it's uphill from there! Wait until the human starts talking. Oy.

Keith said...

I say the only two words you need to know about dealing with children are "duct tape." Lots and lots of duct tape.

GeorgiaSnail said...

Keith might be onto something...the duct tape works two-fold....why bother with that pesky wax when you have a roll of duct tape!?!?!

Jess said...

What? You're NOT supposed to sedate them? Hmmmm, this reconfigures my whole approach to parenting thus far...

Mike Antonucci said...

What, no photos?

SteveQ said...

I thought a bikini wax was just to prove to yourself that you don't have the most demeaning job in the world.

Viper said...

Boo on the teetotaling. Have a good weekend. Cheers! ... or not.

Tricia said...

have a great weekend!

Jamie said...

Sounds like the parents made a good decision :) have a great weekend/vacation!

RBR said...

You can come sub my class of high school sophomores for a day if you want to really squash the desire to procreate. If 8 hours of teenagers doesn't do it, you are either impervious to feeling pain or hopelessly addicted to opiate drugs, either way you should survive parenthood just fine.

Have a great vay kay!

Theresa said...

Enjoy your working holiday!

If your reproductive urge needs further squelching, I can always send you my nieces for a few days. I'm sure my sister could use the break.

The Laminator said...

You are seriously funny! Enjoy your weekend, Xenia!

Jamoosh said...

Here in the States, a simple trip to a department store where parents let their little lunatics run amok is usually enough to suppress the urge.

RunnuRMark said...

I can provide plenty of reasons to not produce any young. There's no reason to abuse your hoo-ha. Unless you're into that sort of thing...