Thursday, 9 September 2010

Naming names

All right, eager beavers (not like that, G). It’s time to announce the winner of the CSN Stores $65 gift certificate.

There were 21 legit entrants.

But like in Highlander, there can be only one which means there are going to be 20 headless bodies here in a second. Sweet. But I digress.

Ok, the winner is....

Commenter #4 was Jumper 2.0. Congrats, buddy! Give me your email address (drop me a line at ukxenia at gmail dot com) and I’ll get you in touch with the wonderful people at CSN Stores so you can get your prize. (And Steve, I like to believe it stands for Crosby, Stills and Nash too.)

My condolences (not really) to the rest of you twits. You win some, you lose some. Or in your case, you lose a lot. But them’s the breaks, people.

Many of you showed me lots of love during my brief blog comeback, which is all well deserved of course and was in no way coerced as per the instructions of the giveaway.

Turi said he would never desert me, which I find amusing coming from a guy who lives in a desert.

Spike ranked me as one of his 18 greatest loves. I cannot tell you how moved I am to know that I am adored almost as much as Taco Bell. High praise, indeed.

Ace was super kind and offered to purchase me dissertation essentials (caffeine, chocolate and live ammo). Thanks, dude. That ammo would come in real handy right now as I have a new officemate who is wearing WAY TOO MUCH cologne. Ugh, barfs-ville.

Merry has apparently been trying to lob stuff at me all the way from the west coast of Aye-mare-ick-ah. She’s been about as successful at it as this poor woman. May I suggest, dear Merry, that you reduce the distance between us first before taking aim again? By which I mean come on over to England for a bit of a holiday. And by holiday I mean I need a competent professional writer to finish my dissertation for me and I’ve decided to bestow that honor on your good self. You can thank me later. No really.

First time commenter LynnZMommy said she loves Diggin’ It and even has one of my posts bookmarked. What I want to know is, which post? I can’t imagine my musings on sub-par running and general slackassery can be bookmark-worthy, but I am happy to be proven wrong on this.

And god bless him, in his eagerness to score free money, Kanadian Keith commented six times on two posts. Keith, you officially win the Desperation Award. In honor of your lack of restraint and self-respect, I will award you what you said you would give to me if you won the giveaway – a popener. Send me an email with your snail mail address and I’ll pop one in the mail for you.

Finally, big thanks to Aka Alice, Diane (TT) and RBR for the dissertation advice and motivation. Oh, and Jamoosh for these wise words:

“Stop reading comments and get back to your dissertation.”

Yes, sir.

Back to sabbatical I go.

Later gators.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010


People, you don't have much time left to enter the CSN Stores $65 gift certificate giveaway. Go back and leave a comment on the previous post to enter. You only have until tomorrow to do so. Only comment on this post if you (a) want to request a personalized verbal smackdown from yours truly, (b) have pressing news you'd like to impart to me though I likely won't care, or (c) are bored and have nothing else to do.

Hop to it, bitches.

P.S. - It's raining in England. You're shocked by this news, I know.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Playing Santee Clause

Heidi-ho, bitches!

I know your first thought must be “holy shit, she finished that dissertation fast!”

Well, your first thought is totally effing wrong. How’s that feel, hmmm?

No, the reason I’m resurfacing from my pit of despair is to bestow a lovely gift upon one of you sad sacks. The good people at CSN Stores (purveyors of everything from ceiling lights to cookware to cat toys) contacted me (last one in the blogosphere, I think—it’s like high school gym class all over again...) and have offered a $65 gift certificate to one of my readers to use at one of their fine 200+ online shops. And since I’ve been bleeding readers like a hemophiliac over here (heartless deserters!), your chances of winning are pretty freaking good.

To enter this wondrous contest, simply leave a comment on this post detailing your undying love for me and how much my absence has and will continue to cause you severe mental anguish. Or, you know, say hi and maybe tell me what you’d buy if you won. The deadline for contest entry is Wednesday, September 8th at 5 pm EST. There’s only one entry per person (because I’m mean and I said so) and you have to be resident in the US or Canada, which should be fine since I think I only have about three non-North American readers anyway. I’ll have the random number generator select the winner and I'll post the good news for one/piss-poor news for the rest of you on the 9th.

Of course, if you’re the lucky winner, you’re totally going to want to purchase me a little something-something with your loot. I’d like a new set of hand weights, a spin bike and a vibration plate because (a) it vibrates (heh), (b) it looks like a stationary Segway and (c) it’ll help me piss off my neighbors to no end. God knows I’ve been lacking in horrific living condition stories lately. Stupid nice neighbors.

Ok, back to work I go. *sob*

Have a great Labor Day weekend, everyone.

Later gators.