Thursday, 2 September 2010

Playing Santee Clause

Heidi-ho, bitches!

I know your first thought must be “holy shit, she finished that dissertation fast!”

Well, your first thought is totally effing wrong. How’s that feel, hmmm?

No, the reason I’m resurfacing from my pit of despair is to bestow a lovely gift upon one of you sad sacks. The good people at CSN Stores (purveyors of everything from ceiling lights to cookware to cat toys) contacted me (last one in the blogosphere, I think—it’s like high school gym class all over again...) and have offered a $65 gift certificate to one of my readers to use at one of their fine 200+ online shops. And since I’ve been bleeding readers like a hemophiliac over here (heartless deserters!), your chances of winning are pretty freaking good.

To enter this wondrous contest, simply leave a comment on this post detailing your undying love for me and how much my absence has and will continue to cause you severe mental anguish. Or, you know, say hi and maybe tell me what you’d buy if you won. The deadline for contest entry is Wednesday, September 8th at 5 pm EST. There’s only one entry per person (because I’m mean and I said so) and you have to be resident in the US or Canada, which should be fine since I think I only have about three non-North American readers anyway. I’ll have the random number generator select the winner and I'll post the good news for one/piss-poor news for the rest of you on the 9th.

Of course, if you’re the lucky winner, you’re totally going to want to purchase me a little something-something with your loot. I’d like a new set of hand weights, a spin bike and a vibration plate because (a) it vibrates (heh), (b) it looks like a stationary Segway and (c) it’ll help me piss off my neighbors to no end. God knows I’ve been lacking in horrific living condition stories lately. Stupid nice neighbors.

Ok, back to work I go. *sob*

Have a great Labor Day weekend, everyone.

Later gators.

23 comments:

Turi said...

Come on, we would NEVER desert you...

carpeviam said...

I actually shed a tear this morning when I passed a road, on my way to a run, that was called Xenia. I sh!t you not. About the road.

Ace said...

I vow you to use my winnings to buy cases of Red Bull, chocolate-covered espresso beans, and 9mm ammuntion in honor of your dissertation work.

Jumper 2.0 said...

You are so funny. Hope the dissertation is going well.

joyRuN said...

I need a new Rabbit. I broke the other one.

We're THAT good.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I really, really miss you.

Um ...

You're that hairy Greek chick with the big breasteseses, right?

Hahahahahaha! Just kidding! "Hairy Greek chick" is intentionally redundant!

Barefoot Johnny O said...

I wanna win. I miss you. I love your posts and comments. I would follow, but the current number is 69 - one of my favorites. My blood clots very good. I'm a Canadian reader in the US. See, it's gotta be me. Oh, ya, work is for chumps; no need to sob.

Keith said...

I would get you a Popener for your very own. Because so many people I've been reading have abandoned their blogs, the poor helpless little things. All they want is to be updated every now and then, and be visited by readers. Is that so hard?

I won't get you the vibrating sex toy. My wife wouldn't understand. That probably eliminates by entry. Sigh.

Pam said...

Where did these CSN people come from and where did they get all their damn money??? They're handing it out like a pedophile's candy!

I don't know what I'd buy. Probably someone's Christmas present. I was oh-so-horrifyingly reminded today that Christmas is sneaking up on us.

Aka Alice said...

I'll be honest, I'd never heard of CSN before...I looked briefly and was overwhelmed by all the stuff...

Regarding the "BIG D" (which has absolutely NOTHING to do with Glaven). It doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be finished... Those words saved me and my sanity once :-)

Hang in there

Spike said...

Of all the loves of my life, you are without a doubt in the top 18. Well done.

SteveQ said...

CSN? I'd like to buy a vowel.

Diane (TT) said...

I would totally miss you if you hadn't dropped by the B&G recently. I wish you phenomenal persistence in the endeavor that should not be mentioned - and that's all it takes. No epiphanies required, just, as Aka Alice said, FINISHING.

Not that this is about that, but chocolate and other good things are in your future and, I hope, the near future at that!

Jamie said...

don't worry you're not the last one to be contacted. I've been shown no love :)

not sure what I would buy but I imagine I could find something. I have no problem spending money.

The Merry said...

Oh Xenia, I always miss you.
But I'm working on improving my aim :)

K.L. said...

Hi Xenia,
I miss your imaginary presence at the B&G all the time. I'm pretty sure I know what happened though. There is that covered hole in the corner, with the pile of dirt beside it. I think you excavated you way out. Hope you didn't run into the items we (ahem) covered up with our shovels.

orangehands said...

How I love thy, let me count the ways...

1. You are one funny woman.

Dang, ok, I'm out.

Nah, I really miss you at the B&G, and every day without you there is like sheer hell. Come back, come back, my darling.

- OH

Deb said...

I got so excited when I saw your post. I truly thought you had finished your diss, and I was giddy with excitement for you. I was also going to hold you up as a shining example of diss-producing efficiency to my ABD buddy who has been working on hers for YEARS and YEARS and YEARS. But that would be cruel, so good job on not being done, I guess.

Deb said...

MWA HA HA!! I know that multiple comments will not improve my chances of winning, but I just HAD to comment again. I was just reading X-Country's blog (I'm way behind) and I saw your comment about her baby's weed habit. Niiice!!!! Mothers of newborns LOVE when you point out that their twins bear more than a passing resemblance to Cheech and Chong. Well done, X!

Jess said...

I don't know what I'd buy, but I do like winning stuff!

LynnZMommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nitmos said...

I guess I'll leave a comment. Comment. Now where's my prize?

LynnZMommy said...

Oops - Sorry I had to delete my post above because I type then think. I love reading your blog and have one of your posts bookmarked.