Tuesday, 31 January 2012

The dry spell has ended

I ran yesterday morning for the first time in five and a half months. (Yes, you read that right - 5.5 months.) It was snowing. Well, flurries, but that's unusual for around here so worth noting. The pace was slow and there was a lot of rust to knock off, but I felt good afterward. Today I'm just hella sore. From two miles. Crikey.

Tuesday's trifecta:
1 - Walk for 30 minutes.
2 - format and edit tables in section 8.2 (Stop judging me. There are a shit ton of tables in this section.)
3 - add 50 more entries to catalogue spreadsheet (Ditto comment above.)

UPDATE: Done, done and done. Another successful day.

This crap is on top of having to listen to presentations for at least half the day. Woo.

Monday, 30 January 2012


My plans for January have not exactly been successful. Work-work is going just fine. Work on the TTSNBN has been slow, but there has been notable progress which pleased my advisor. As for exercise, I’ve done some walks but no runs nor anything else that can be classified as a workout.

Obviously I need to re-evaluate my cunning plan.

What has been preventing me from achieving my exercise and TTSNBN goals? I think the main issue is that I have no daily accountability which allows one day of missed goals to roll into another and then it just snowballs from there. There are a few people in my life who check on me regularly about the TTSNBN, including my mother and sister. Unfortunately their good intentions can make me quite cranky. I then feel super guilty and apologize for being such a massively ungrateful bitch, but the cycle repeats nonetheless. The same goes for exercise. I have no daily accountability so I don’t do it.

So how do I remedy this situation and get on track to accomplish my 2012 goals?

First off, I’m staying with the 3 things a day method. However, now I’m going to stay accountable by posting on the blog EVERY SINGLE DAY for the next month. You read that right – I’m going to bore all you poor bastards to tears for the entire month of February with my daily activities. Aren’t you excited?!

Yeah, I didn’t think so. But you’re gonna have to deal with it anyway because this is happening.

Merry at Sheesh has used this daily blogging strategy to great success, so I’m totally co-opting it. (Thanks, Merry!) I have some work travel to deal with in March and I’m going to be away for pretty much all of April, so I need to get these good habits rooted now while I have the opportunity and hope to god they stick when I’m living out of a suitcase.

The 3 things a day will remain the same – (1) workout of the day, (2) TTSNBN task and (3) work-work task. However, on the weekend, the work-work task will be replaced with a fun task of my choice, probably a craft project since I’m currently obsessed with decorating my flat. The 3-things per day need to be very focused.  The workouts will be at least 30 minutes in duration, with extra walking during warm-ups and cooldowns when doing the baby runs (c. 2 miles). The specified TTSNBN and work tasks will be no more than one hour because god knows I’ve got other stuff I need to get through each day (meetings, correspondence, etc.). Ideally I’ll be so motivated I’ll keep going and get even more done, but as long as I get these tasks completed, it’ll be a solid productive day. For the sake of preserving my pseudo-anonymity though, I’ll keep the description of the TTSNBN and work tasks kinda general on the blog.

I’ll post my goals for the day in the morning and then update the post at the end of the day with my results. At the end of February, I’ll tally the results and if I earn an A (90% or better completion rate) then I get to book a mini-holiday. I’ve got a long list of places I want to visit both in the UK and on the continent. This is just the motivation I need to finally get off my butt and get to see one of them…if I earn it, that is.

The plus side for you guys is that if I’m posting every day, the posts should be rather short. Easy for you guys to skim or skip over entirely. I’m generous, no?

I’m so determined to get to it that I’m starting early. Daily 3-things posting begins today. And the nominees things are:

1 - Run 2 miles
2 - format and edits tables for section 8.2
3 - add 50 more entries into catalogue spreadsheet

UPDATE: Check, check and check. I'm on FI-YAH! (Ok, not really on fire, but it makes it sound like more of an amazing achievement that way.)

See you later today with my results.

Happy Monday, homies.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Tag and release

joyRuN tagged me with a meme and since I’ve not posted anything in three weeks, I thought I’d give it a go. And so I have.

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this’. You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

1. Every morning I apply moisturizer to my face as if it were war paint.
2. My future brother-in-law has asked that I not be sarcastic at the wedding. My sister has requested that I smile a lot and be very outgoing on the day as well. I can already foresee my utter failure.
3. For Christmas I made my mom a cross stitch sampler that says “Eat my balls”. She loved it.
4. I cried like a baby when I got to my mom’s house for the holidays last month because it was the first time in seventeen years that the furball wasn’t there to greet me at the door.
5. I’m in the process of decorating my apartment with toilet roll art. Fo realz.
6. I really like my job. The work I do is interesting and the people I work with are awesome, smart and make me laugh. I’m a lucky bitch.
7. A co-worker and I are thinking of attending the Jane Austen Festival in Bath in September. I’m even considering wearing period dress…if I’m drunk enough.
8. There are now more crafts blogs than running blogs in my Google Reader.
9. I’ve walked along a part of Hadrian’s Wall and hugged the tree that was in a scene from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I was told afterward that the tree is a popular urination target.
10. I’m afraid if I ever met Colin Firth in person, I’d be unable to supress the urge to dry-hump his leg like one of those little rat-dogs celebrities carry around in purses.
11. Part of me wants to continue living in England. (Other parts of me, like my teeth, do not.)

1. What are your go-to excuses?
The holy trinity:
--I’m tired.
--It’s late.
--I’ll do it tomorrow.

2. What’s your favorite WOD or running workout (distance/tempo/speedwork)?
Does sitting on my fat ass count? Before my re-acclimation to my sloth-like ways, I used to love easy middle distance runs with a few fartleks thrown in for good measure.

3. Do you track your dietary intake?
Yes and no. I’ll often go a few weeks tracking everything then stop for a while and then re-start again. Story of my life really.

4. What’s your favorite healthy meal?
Currently it's cauliflower crust pizza.

5. What’s your favorite cheat meal?
I have two. Cheese-laden chicken chimichangas and pastitsio.

6. Any nagging injuries that worry you?
Plantar fasciitis, but I think it’s now more the result of prolonged inactivity.

7. What book would you recommend?
For those who want a good laugh, read Good Omens: the nice and accurate prophecies of Agnus Nutter, witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

For Jane Austen fans, read Mr Darcy Takes a Wife, Linda Berdoll’s sequel to Pride and Prejudice. It’s well written and often hilarious as she portrays Darcy as an extremely devoted and utterly insatiable husband. Lucky Lizzy.

8. Have you ever been hospitalized?  If so, how were your nurses?
When I was a wee one, I had tubes put in my ears and my adenoids removed, but I don’t remember it. When I was about five or so, I sliced open the big toe on my right foot with a door. I had to get five stitches without any anaesthetic. I cried a bit, but apparently the nurse said I was way braver than any of the boys who’d come in for stitches. I liked her. As for least favorite nurse experience…I once had a nurse snap at me to ‘relax’ so she could perform a pelvic exam. Unfeeling cow. Not everyone enjoys having a cold metal duck bill shoved into their nether region. I almost told her she needed to buy me dinner first.

9. What look is more appealing to you? Designer well put together chic or a fit body dressed in workout clothes?
Fit body in workout clothes.

10. What’s your resting heart rate?
I’m crap at taking my pulse. I’m going to bet my number is just on the bad side of normal.

11. If you had no financial/physical limitations whatsoever, what would you do?
Go to Fiji.


1. Which movie/tv show/character most resembles your life?
2. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
3. What was your ultimate dipshit moment (so far)?
4. Marry, f*ck or kill: choose either group – (a) Val Kilmer (current, not young version), Kevin Federline and Russell Brand; (b) Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.
5. Which country would you most likely be arrested in and/or shot at and why?
6. Which person (alive or dead) would you most want to bitchslap?
7. Which special talent or skill do you wish you had?
8. Who or what would you consider to be your archenemy?
9. Pop or soda?
10. What’s your favorite holiday?
11. How would you prefer the apocalypse to go down?

11 TAGGEES (I don’t care if you’ve already been tagged. Suck it up, buttercup.)
1. Lily
2. Karen
3. Keith
4. Razz
5. Merry
6. Joja Jogger
7. Scarlett
8. Mark
9. The Blonde
10. Viv
11. X-C2

And I’m spent.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

The 2012 Plan

Screw the preamble. Let’s get right to it.

The 2012 plan involves two primary goals which, not surprisingly, have some overlap.

The first goal is to get organized. I don’t have a decent system for getting anything done in a reasonable amount of time in any aspect of my life. I need clear focused goals. So I’m going with the 3 tasks a day approach (semi-stolen from joyRuN but I’ve also read The Power of Less before). Every day I’ll have a list of three key items I need to accomplish before I can do anything else, i.e. blog, watch a movie, craft, go to the pub, etc. For the month of January, the three must-do tasks for each day will entail the following:
  • the day’s workout
  • a definable portion of work on the Thing That Must Not Be Named (hereafter TTMNBN)
  • crucial work task for my job
This way I will (1) get in shape, (2) finish that blasted piece of horseshit (the TTMNBN) which I now hate with the power of a thousand suns and (3) keep my boss happy.

As part of this goal, I need to do an evaluation at the end of each month to make sure the 3-things system is being effective. If not, then I need to alter it or try a new system all together.

My second goal is to get back into half-marathon shape. Working back up to the half marathon distance will be good for my overall fitness as well as help me shed the extra weight without courting the bottomless-pit hunger cravings so often encountered with marathon training. Also, I’m just not feeling the marathon anymore. Maybe I’ll try one again someday, but definitely not this year.

For January, the goal is to run 2-3 times per week. I’ll start with runs of two miles first and then slowly increase the distance once I don’t feel like total ass at the end of a run. On non-running days, I need to either walk or cycle for a minimum of 30 minutes. At the end of the month, I’ll review my progress and set a new and ideally more intense workout plan for February and thereafter to get me up to half marathon fitness.

This sounds good to me. But pretty much anything sounds good to me after the crap year I had. What do you all think? Anyone wanna place a bet on how I’m going to do this year? I’ll take any motivation I can get right now.

I’m off to England tomorrow, so happy early weekend to you all. I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Later gators.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Why 2011 sucked donkey balls

  • I ran 88 miles in 2011. Most of you guys crank that out in a month or sometimes, for you sickeningly super fit overachievers, even a week.
  • Stopped running completely in September.
  • My right lower eyelid has been twitching for a month.
  • I’ve still not submitted the Thing That Must Not Be Named.
  • My scale and ill-fitting clothing have informed me that I’m officially back to being a fat ass.
I ended the year by returning to the homeland which embraced me with herpes simplex infected arms forcing me into isolation for nearly two weeks of my three week trip because it looked like I’d been hit in the mouth with a baseball bat…and from my swollen lip, an angry crusty alien was trying to burst forth.

Sexy, I know.

Christmas involved flying to the windy city to celebrate the holiday with my sister and her fiancĂ©e and also help her put on a dinner for nearly twenty of her fiancee’s family members. Nothing like being stuck playing nice with your sibling’s future in-laws. I deserve a goddamn Nobel Prize for that shit.

Add to that our very much younger half-brother was also celebrating with us. I don’t do well with children, especially when they’re independently mobile and can talk. This kid is five years old. At heart I’m sure he’s a sweet kid, but he’s also absolutely spoiled rotten and that trend does not appear to be about to change any time soon. Sometimes there are benefits to living so far away from one’s family.

To top off the steaming pile of feces that was 2011, I found out I like a song by Selena Gomez, the girl with a fetus face.

If I find out I’ve heard and enjoyed a Bieber song, I’m quitting this bitch entirely.

Unlike last year, I’m not going to become all Susie Sunshine and look at the bright side of 2011. The year sucked. Hardcore. And I accept that it was my own fault. If I want results, I have to put in the effort. I obviously didn’t put in the effort, hence the shitty results. Lesson learned.

2012 is a busy year for me including a degree that needs to be completed, lots of projects and job-related travel, a CV to build up, job applications to submit in the fall and a fat ass that needs to shrink.

2012 is a big year for the X family too. There will be three (or four-I can't remember) weddings, the most important of which is my sister Z’s. The wedding planning bonanza is already underway in all its horrific over the top Greek glory. The wedding is kind of being hijacked by our father who has an opinion on everything and feels the need to call my sister several times a day with his words of wisdom or, as I like to call them, his moments of extreme hysterical nonsense. I’m not much better though. Every time my opinion is solicited, I always respond with “Put some Windex on it.” I think this may fail to amuse my sister in a few weeks time. We’ll see.

As we all know, 2012 is also the year of the apocalypse which I’m pretty sure means I’m destined to finally get my shit together right before we all start a global sing-along of “It’s the end of the world as we know it”. It’s only fitting.

So what’s my plan? Good question. I’m still in the process of finalizing those details which pretty much entails ripping nuggets of wisdom from all your blogs. Ingenious, no? My return to England at the end of the week is the official kick-off for my 2012 plans, so I’ll dazzle you with my stolen ideas tomorrow.

Until then, start practicing for the sing-along.