- I ran 88 miles in 2011. Most of you guys crank that out in a month or sometimes, for you sickeningly super fit overachievers, even a week.
- Stopped running completely in September.
- My right lower eyelid has been twitching for a month.
- I’ve still not submitted the Thing That Must Not Be Named.
- My scale and ill-fitting clothing have informed me that I’m officially back to being a fat ass.
Sexy, I know.
Christmas involved flying to the windy city to celebrate the holiday with my sister and her fiancée and also help her put on a dinner for nearly twenty of her fiancee’s family members. Nothing like being stuck playing nice with your sibling’s future in-laws. I deserve a goddamn Nobel Prize for that shit.
Add to that our very much younger half-brother was also celebrating with us. I don’t do well with children, especially when they’re independently mobile and can talk. This kid is five years old. At heart I’m sure he’s a sweet kid, but he’s also absolutely spoiled rotten and that trend does not appear to be about to change any time soon. Sometimes there are benefits to living so far away from one’s family.
To top off the steaming pile of feces that was 2011, I found out I like a song by Selena Gomez, the girl with a fetus face.
If I find out I’ve heard and enjoyed a Bieber song, I’m quitting this bitch entirely.
Unlike last year, I’m not going to become all Susie Sunshine and look at the bright side of 2011. The year sucked. Hardcore. And I accept that it was my own fault. If I want results, I have to put in the effort. I obviously didn’t put in the effort, hence the shitty results. Lesson learned.
2012 is a busy year for me including a degree that needs to be completed, lots of projects and job-related travel, a CV to build up, job applications to submit in the fall and a fat ass that needs to shrink.
2012 is a big year for the X family too. There will be three (or four-I can't remember) weddings, the most important of which is my sister Z’s. The wedding planning bonanza is already underway in all its horrific over the top Greek glory. The wedding is kind of being hijacked by our father who has an opinion on everything and feels the need to call my sister several times a day with his words of wisdom or, as I like to call them, his moments of extreme hysterical nonsense. I’m not much better though. Every time my opinion is solicited, I always respond with “Put some Windex on it.” I think this may fail to amuse my sister in a few weeks time. We’ll see.
As we all know, 2012 is also the year of the apocalypse which I’m pretty sure means I’m destined to finally get my shit together right before we all start a global sing-along of “It’s the end of the world as we know it”. It’s only fitting.
So what’s my plan? Good question. I’m still in the process of finalizing those details which pretty much entails ripping nuggets of wisdom from all your blogs. Ingenious, no? My return to England at the end of the week is the official kick-off for my 2012 plans, so I’ll dazzle you with my stolen ideas tomorrow.
Until then, start practicing for the sing-along.