Wednesday, 30 May 2012


 Kicked in the nuts
The only bad thing related to my recent quick trip to the states was that I returned with a cold. It’s now been nine days since my return and I’m still sick. My nose is full of snot and my lungs are full of phlegm which makes me cough like a seasoned 10-pack a day smoker. Co-workers and friends are sympathetic to my plight but really they just want me to bugger off so I don’t infect them with my American germs. English bastards.

My illness has unfortunately coincided with a rare week of beautiful warm sunny weather here on this island which is usually cursed with rain and overcast skies. I’ve tried to spend as much time outdoors as possible, but the frequent deep cough attacks to expel phlegm and their unfortunate triggering of my vomit reflex don’t allow me to be in public for long stretches of time without causing a scene. I’ve wanted so badly to run or take a spin class ever since I returned from the states, but my diminished lung capacity won’t let me. Instead I take walks and do some yoga. It’s not as satisfying though. A slightly welcome side effect considering I can’t really do any decent cardio at the moment is the decrease in my appetite. At least I shouldn’t be gaining any weight right now.

I’m fortunate in that I don’t often get sick. The last time I remember having a cold like this was in 2009 and I was sick for a solid two weeks. Another positive is that this recent illness finally got me to register with a surgery (aka doctor’s office) here in Port Nerd. I have a new patient meeting next week, so if I’m not well by then at least I have the hope of getting some higher strength drugs to help kill this thing. Until then, I’m drinking lots of orange juice and tea, swilling cough medicine straight out of the bottle and have a box of tissues and a trash can by my side at all times.

Wherever you are, I hope you are enjoying good weather AND good health. Run for me, will ya?

Later gators. *cough*


The Merry said...

After this, you're going to look great in that bridesmaid dress!

Viper said...

Your going to need American drugs for that American cold. The Brits can't help you. Cheerio!

Nitmos said...

This is what happens when you visit Nebraska.

Mark said...

Everyone knows Nebraska has cooties. I will put aside my work bitching and dedicate one of the miles from my half-mary on Saturday to your sick ass. But also on the bright side, you get to say all manner of fun things like bugger and arse and sod off. So there's that. Hope you get better soon!

Jamoosh said...

It is sad that your time in the UK has left you with a wimpy immune system.