Monday, 19 May 2008

Pride. She's a bit of a bitch.

The Town & Gown 10K took place yesterday. I won’t bore you with tales of my fitful sleeping and thousand-and-one trips to the loo that morning. Let’s just get right to it, shall we? As it seems to be popular amongst running bloggers, I have chosen to relate my story via a bulleted list. Enjoy.
  • 10 am: Race begins. Start with slow jog, then walk, then jog towards the start line.
  • 10:02 and a bit: Finally cross start line. (argh)
  • Km 1: Quick but not overly fast pace. Enjoying the cheering of the crowds lined up along the road. Two kids with homemade signs saying ‘Go Dad’. Cute. Time to start iPod. A little U2 to get me going.
  • Km 2: A girl passes me. She looks to be about my age, similar size and shape. She seems like a dedicated runner—spiffy gear and all. (I’m too cheap to go all out. I wear yoga pants and a tech shirt purchased from Target.) I pick her to be my rabbit.
  • Km 2.5: Sweet baby jesus! Just been passed by the tallest man on the planet. The top of his legs were level with my chest. That’s just insane.
  • Km 3: Keeping pace with rabbit. I take a look around me. Geez, my town’s rather picturesque. Wish I were coordinated enough to carry a camera while running.
  • Km 4: Rabbit is pulling ahead a bit, but she’s still in my sights. Running along Cornmarket Street. Thankfully, no faceplanting occurs. Happy for once to be on this shop-lined pedestrian street and not be slowed down by tourists.
  • Km 5: Rabbit pulls further ahead. I kick it up a notch and catch up with her. Pass by the first water point without partaking. The elite runners pass by on the last leg to the finish. Slightly demoralizing.
  • Km 6: Pass rabbit. Feel superior. Tribulations’ begins playing on iPod. It’s an omen. Desiccated, wrinkly woman who looks plenty old enough to be my grandmother passes me. Huge blow to the ego. On closer inspection, she looks like the creature individual in the photo below, only with a short white pixie hairdo. She’s almost a midget too (she barely reached my shoulder and I’m only 5’ 5” and a smidge). I like to believe I’m not an overly proud person, but I can’t let Grandma Moses beat me. I soldier on.
  • Km 7: Still battling it out with the Running Dead. I seem to be her rabbit now. Afraid she will go all out and call forth the Seven Plagues of Running on me. Know I am not prepared for the curse of the runner’s ‘runs’. Fear propels me even more.
  • Km 7.25: Come upon second water station. Thanks to Laminator, I know how to scoop up a cup without slowing down. Drank half the contents (other half spills all over the place, but that’s not the point to focus on here, people) and toss cup aside.
  • Km 8: Jesus! Just die already! I’m getting tired here, lady. Feel bad for horrible thoughts. Know I am on the fast track to hell, but no longer give a shit. Want to beat her. Consider making ‘flowing water’ sounds behind her so as to trigger her need to pee. Nix that idea when realize she’s probably wearing Depends. Damn.
  • Km 9: Take that, Imhotep! Finally a decent distance ahead of Mummified Corpse, but keep looking back over shoulder, afraid of sneak attack by her or equally decomposed minions.
  • Km 10: Use reserve energy to kick it up a notch to the finish. The clock says 1:05:40-ish, but my watch says my actual running time was 1:03:20. Doesn’t matter. I did it!

That, in a nutshell, was my first 10K experience. Despite the amount of flak I gave to Imhotep that elderly lady, I have to thank her and the rabbit for making me push myself. My time turned out much better than I was predicting, but then again I was going in with low expectations anyway. I enjoyed the race immensely and I’m already raring to sign up for another 10K. The Asics British 10K London run in July has already filled up (damn it!), but there is still a chance I can get on one of the charity teams. I’ve contacted Diabetes UK (a worthy cause and one close to my heart since both my parents are diabetic) and am impatiently patiently waiting for them to respond. [UPDATE: I'm in!!!] If all else fails, there is still the BUPA Great Capital 10K Run, also in London, at the end of July. I’m not sure the current state of my finances can swing both of them, but we'll see how everything sorts itself out first.

On that note, let me say congrats to my fellow racers. I hope you all did well and enjoyed yourselves this weekend. As for me, it’s back to work.

Italian Phrases of the Day
Puoi trafiggere questa vescichetta per me?
Can you lance this blister for me?’ – Nitmos

Corri bene e bevi bene.
Run well and drink well.’ (Booze Hound proverb) – Viper

Romperò le ossa in questa corsa.*
I will kick ass in this race.’ – POM
*Note: The idiom ‘to kick ass’ does not translate directly. Instead, as far as I can tell, the Italians say ‘to break bones’ to express a similar meaning.

#94 and 93 from the AFI movie quotes list:
Sentio il bisogno – il bisogno per la velocità!
"I feel the need -- the need for speed!" (Top Gun, 1986)

La vita è uno banchetto, e la maggior parte dei babbei muoiono di fame!
"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" (Auntie Mame, 1958)

And finally, here is an Italian proverb, originating from the Ferrara region, that I thought many of you might appreciate.

A correre e cagare ci si immerda i garretti.

The basic meaning of it is ‘doing two things at the same time will result in a mess’. The literal translation is: 'By running and defecating at the same time, you will get shit on your heels.'

Words to live by.


Theresa said...

Woo! Way to go, you! See you are Speedy Gonzales, running damn near a 10 min/mile in your first 10k.

I'm slightly envious, but mostly just really, really pround and happy for you!!!

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO! You know I'm the same way with the old folks (and I guess now with the youngins but it's easier for me to accept it if they do beat me. They're young and springy, ya know?) I always think the most evil thoughts when they're in front of me :-X

CONGRATS chica! You did a most excellent job ;D ;D

Meg said...

Congratulations! That was a hilarious race report, and you beat your expectations! Ever wonder if you're someone's rabbit? I've never realized it or thought about it during a race. And you beat both of yours!

Thanks for the boy advice. I hate feeling like I'm fixating on something so silly!

Viper said...

Congrats on a great race. And thanks for giving me the fear. Now every time I race I'll be worried about zombies.

Thanks for the translation as well. Now, I can sound more classy when I slur.

The Laminator said...

Hilarious race report. Congrats on finishing strong, ahead of those wannabe rabbits. It's funny...Your race experience was so similar to mine this weekend. Only thing was I knocked over all the water cups at almost all the stations...

Yeah, I'm totally embarrassed now!

Nitmos said...

Great job. See? We all knew you could do it. I'm glad you didn't get swept away in Imhotep's sandstorm that was no doubt propelling her down the road.

chia said...


You crack me up, brilliant race report :-D!!!

P.O.M. said...

Great job! You rocked it!

McB said...

Go, you! I just love hearing about other people getting sweaty and out of breath. Makes me feel vicariously virtuous.

As to the last quote ... is that even possible? I guess I don't have to worry about it because I don't think I could coordinate the necessary muscles. And I'm spending entirely too much time pondering this.