Friday, 25 July 2008

Hill humiliation

American Girl in Italy, 1951

Yesterday was another unenjoyable attempt at hill repeats. Eight 400 m repeats were scheduled and I got in four. Want to ask what caused me to cut my session short? Sure you do!

Little f*cking kids, that’s what! SERENITY FREAKIN’ NOW! (*Okay, breathe in, breathe out. And we’re good...*)

Let me explain. Like many universities, this place gets overrun during the summer months with programs for students of varying ages from all over the world, but particularly Europe and the States. I shouldn’t complain overly much since I participated in one such program myself when I was an undergrad. I have learned to somewhat tolerate the massive influx of Abercrombie and Fitch-wearing American university students, though if they could please lower the volume, it would be much appreciated. Most people here aren’t hard of hearing, so I don’t understand why they feel the need to shout all the damn time.

The ones that do really bother me are the younger groups, the European high school and middle school-aged kids who are here attending English language programs. They are awful. God awful. Even worse than the UK kids of the same age, and that’s saying something.

Last week, it was a massive group of French middle schoolers who were blocking the path. This week, I believe the little sods were Spanish. It was mostly the usual—taking up the whole of the path and not moving over to allow for oncoming traffic. But the kicker was when one of the little shits jokingly made a play at honking my breasts. I nearly decked him. I should have and probably would have had he not been with about six of his buddies. Factoring in the rage, I probably could have taken two of them, but definitely not a half dozen. I had to settle for shoulder-checking three of them as I passed by. That’s when I decided to scrap the rest of the session and head home to seethe in solitude.

Basically, I need to find a new hill. I only have one hill session left in my schedule before I switch over to speed work, but if I don’t find another hill location before next week, I may be forced to commit justifiable homicide. And I don’t look good in horizontally-striped jumpsuits, so I’d like to avoid that if at all possible.

I don’t want to be all Debbie Downer now, but this may be a harbinger of things to come. Southern European men are not the most subtle when it comes to hitting on women. Trust me, I’m related to some and I’ve witnessed their horrific attempts in person. It’s atrocious. My running in Rome in the fall may end up being a fairly uncomfortable experience. I am by no means saying that I’m a great beauty that all men will fall to their feet for, but nor do I howl at the moon. I’m average and frankly that’s all the encouragement most men there need to try to make a move. I may have to invest in some Mace. Want to take bets on the likelihood of me accidentally spraying myself with it instead of an overly amorous buffoon? Magic 8 Ball says ‘It is certain’. Boo.

Ciao, tutti.


Marcy said...

Ahhhhh men gotta love it (and don't even get me started on kids, but that would be a whole novel of me griping :P). Maybe some martial arts for cross training? Sounds like you're gonna need it :-X YIKES!

Viper said...

Solution: eye gouge, throat punch, scrotum kick. Repeat as necessary.

Good luck finding a new hill or conquering your current one.

Nitmos said...

What? You don't like over aggressive, cologne-reeking men wearing soccer jerseys??

Vanilla said...

Well it's a good thing you didn't translate any runner's pick-up lines into Italian and give those Eurodouches more amunition... oh... wait... Nevermind.

tfh said...

"I'm average and frankly that's all the encouragement most men there need to try to make a move."

Substitute "recognizably female" for "average" and you'll have summed up my experience running abroad perfectly.

I'm with Viper. It helps if you can yell about bringing shame to their mothers while repeating his handy-dandy sequence. Have fun!

Kevin said...

Little punk euoro trash. Sounds like what they needed was a good kick to the 'nads

Steve Stenzel said...

Note to self, should I ever meet you:

No. Breast. Honking.

Ok, noted.

Good luck out there!!!

The Laminator said...

I'm sorry Xenia for obnoxious Euro kids, but these comments are hilarious!

The Laminator said...

I'm sorry Xenia for obnoxious Euro kids, but these comments are hilarious!

Viv said...

Damn kid's! The spanish ones you should have used some of the italian cuss words they are mostly pretty close.

Laura said...

On my run this morning I had some guy in his car honk at me and yell "hey pretty mama!"

Um, NO.

Paint-Me-Dioxazine said...

hahaha, forgive me for laughing through that entire post. I HATE EURO HIGH SCHOOL TWATS. I lived in Rome for 6 months and the running through the streets thing will be as bad as you think it will be. Headphone generally do the trick though, because no one's going to touch you or stand in front of you (most likely). WARNING: If/when you go to Naples, don't even bother trying to run in the streets - it's the only place I've ever felt dirty from people looking at me.

ALSO: I haven't seen any of season 7! I have 6 on my iPod that I'm trying to tear through, hoping 7 is out on DVD before 8 starts on ABC in the fall. At the moment I'm about halfway through season 5 and have it on pretty much whenever I'm home.