I broke in the blue Asics here in Rome and they have felt like a dream. Now the company is stabbing me straight in the heart and ending my perfect relationship with the perfect shoe.
So, what do I do? Do I prolong my dying relationship by purchasing a few more pairs of shoes online so I don’t have to deal with the shoe dating scene again until well into the New Year? Or do I just suck it up and admit it’s the end of a (rather brief) golden era?
Because it wouldn’t be a normal week if I didn’t do something incredibly stupid
I debated for almost an entire week about whether or not I was going to tell this story to you all. It’s rather embarrassing. But as that hasn’t stopped me before, here goes.
One morning last week, I woke up around 6ish and realized I needed to pee. But I was super comfortable in bed and I still had an hour before the alarm was set to go off, so I stayed where I was and fell back asleep.
When the alarm went off at 7, I swatted at it groggily. The need to pee was rather urgent now but I still didn’t want to leave the confines of the comfy bed. That all changed when I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing and the lock being turned.
My roommate had entered the bathroom to attend to her morning ablutions. When I heard the shower turn on, I knew I was done for. She would be in there for at least another 15 minutes minimum and I didn’t have that kind of time.
Sweet baby jesus, what was I going to do?!
That’s when it dawned on me. There’s another room in the flat with a drainage system. It was either that or wet myself. And I really hate to mop.
That’s right, folks. I peed in the kitchen sink.
Dropping trow, I hiked myself up onto the sink, positioned myself accordingly and let ‘er flow. Since my bladder had been over-full, I was there for a while. It was a bit like that scene in A League of Their Own.
Only I’m a girl. And I was peeing in a kitchen sink.
I began to freak out because it was taking so long. Crap, what if D finishes her shower before I’m done? Why didn’t I close the kitchen door? She’s going to open the bathroom door, turn the corner and get an eyeful. How am I still peeing?! There isn’t even this much liquid in the Tiber for christ's sake!
Thankfully there were no witnesses to my stupidity. Eventually my bladder was emptied and I was able to re-group.
I also scrubbed the hell out of that sink.
Now if I could just stop cringing every time D washes vegetables in the sink, everything would be perfect.
Random things I’ve seen in Rome that have made me laugh out loud
- The smallest public transport bus known to man. If I can get a photo of one next to a regular-sized bus you’ll be able to appreciate how absurd it looks.
- For two days in a row I’ve spotted women sporting Hammer pants. Is this just an Italian fashion trend or are these horrendous things popping back up in America too?
- During this morning’s run, I came across an American tourist having his picture taken with one of the men dressed up as a centurion outside the Colosseum. He was shaking the centurion’s hand while the centurion had his sword jabbed into the man’s crotch. Tourists, they be crazy mofos. (I’m one of them so I can say that.)