Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Riddle me this

Today is my friend Bean’s last day in Rome, so this morning we headed out to a museum neither of us had been to before, Montemartini. It’s a late 19th century power station that’s been converted into a museum which showcases ancient sculpture. In my professional opinion, it’s way cool. I wish I’d visited it years ago. Anyway, there was lots of fun stuff for nerds like us to see and make fun of. We followed up our museum visit with a pizza lunch which we took to-go and ate outside the Pantheon then had some of the best gelati (ice cream) in Rome. But first we had to weave our way around a protest to get there.

Italians aren’t happy unless they’re bitching about something. Kind of like me.

I went with my standard combo of chocolate and stracciatella (vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips) while Bean had a fun old time trying to order fig ice cream. The plural for figs in Italian is fichi, pronounced ‘fiki’. Bean was trying to be careful with the pronunciation because by screwing up the second syllable, she would have accidentally said a slang word for vajaja. Well, she screwed it up and the gelati guy had a great time making fun of her. Good times.

Since I have nothing interesting to say on the running front, I thought I would give you all a short little quiz. Five questions, all with pictures and a little bit of a gender-bending theme. The commenter who gets the most correct answers will receive a postcard (because sometimes it's nice to get something in the mail other than bills, bills and more bills) and the best souvenir ever from Rome. Nope, not The David apron or the Hot Priests of Rome calendar. (Editor’s note: Sadly, I’ve learned the men featured in the calendar are not real priests. Guess Big Papa would have thrown up a big stink if they were.) A very non-scientific survey conducted amongst all my traveling buddies has unanimously proven that the best souvenir from Rome, regardless of whether or not you’re catholic, is the Popener.

The Pope + bottle opener = the Popener.

Nowadays, there’s usually Benny on one side and JP on the other. Either way, it’s still awesome.

Okay, folks, here are the questions:

1) This is a funerary stele. The dude’s profession is indicated in the imagery on the stele. Was he (a) a Roman gay-rights icon, (b) purveyor of bras for man-boobs, or (c) a cobbler.

2) This is a sculpture of the boy toy of a well-known second century AD Roman emperor. What’s the emperor’s name? (Bonus: Name the boy toy.)

3) Why is this guy so happy?

(Hint: the dude’s name is Priapus)

4) Is this the arse of a man or woman?

5) These are two statues of the same individual. Is it of a man or woman?

To enter this messed-up contest, just post your answers in the comments of this post before Thursday, October 16 at 3 pm EST. I’ll reveal the winner’s name on Friday. If however, the contest winner just wants the nerdy bragging rights and not the 'prize', I’ll have the Random Number Generator choose a prize winner.

All right, good luck, geeks. Catch you later.


tfh said...

Am I first? Does that mean everybody else is going to cheat off me? Good, because if I'm wrong, the teacher will KNOW. This quiz is SO much more fun than work. 1) c, 2) Hadrian and going for the extra-credit is that by any chance Antinous, 3) let's just say if he were taking Viagra he'd be experiencing a rare but serious side effect and have to see his doctor, 4) and 5) NO IDEA but they look far too slender to be women, so I'm going with men for both.

Now if only you could dry ice me some gelato for the valiant effort-- nothing here compares to Rome's.

thebets said... the gelati episode! I would enter the quiz, but I'm at work right now and would probably get in trouble for looking up nude sculpture pics....

Marcy said...

OOhhhh I love me some quizzes! Awesome post chica!
2) Tiberius. He was freak nasty with the boys, right? I saw a show on homie once and dude was jacked (although weren't they all?!?)
3) Urrggghhh I've seen this dude before . . .I'm going to go ahead and say it has something to do with sex. It HAS to be something about sex because otherwise I wouldn't recognize it from any other statue :P
4) Dude
5) Lady

Meg said...

Hah I'm not even going to try. My HS art history and history teachers would kill me but I have NO idea and can't even name 2nd century emperor. I've been stuck in science and math for too long to even hazard a guess!

american girl said...

Lol, it is so not fair for me to answer the quiz. I'm tempted, though, because I collect postcards.

Laura said...

I give up. Where can I go buy a Popener of my own?

Marcy said...

YOu know what? Dang it now that I think of it . . . Tiberius was a BC Emperor, right?!? GAH! It goes Cesar, Octavian, then him . . . is that right? I think that's right.

Ohhh now I have NO clue LOL

Viper said...

I used to own a Popener. My friend brought it back from Italy, when Jean Paul 2 was not dead. Sadly, the Pope's visage popped out of the Popener.

1. C (always pick C in multiple choice)
2. Caligula (no attempt at the boy)
3. He's got a perma-boner
4. dude
5. also a dude

I want the prize!

Ted said...

I have never won a prize so I better get this right which I never do....

1. B
2. Constantine
3. Smiling?? It must be the pecker thing. He must be so happy to have a HARD ON.
4. Man
5. Woman

I will look forward to the answers.

Frayed Laces said...

I hate history. But I still love Xenia.

Thanks for the date tip-off. Problem fixed!

Maggs said...

haha. Great post. I have a popener from my last trip to rome. It is a great souvenir.

RazZDoodle said...

I stopped at the Popener. That's going to be on the wish list!

joyRuN said...

LOL! Those pics are great :)

1) Cobbler - gravity wasn't kind to his mammary glands.

2) Dunno

3) Because he doesn't know that in two hours, he'd need a surgical intervention to tame that schlong.

4) Man

5) Woman


The Laminator said...

I think someone up there has the right answer, but I'll give my two cents.

1) C

2) Tiberus

3) He's enjoying it now, but will need surgical attention in about 4 hours

4) Man

5) Man

I'm so good...NOT!

Jenn said...

1. He is a cobbler who had a boob job!

2.This one was difficult as all five of them where gay but I believe it was Hadrian and the boy toy would then be Antinous!

3.He is a fertility god with a rather large gift.

4. and 5. are both men. Women of the Roman empire were usually much curvier.

Whit was helping me so add his name to the post card please.

Glad to be back in bloggerland and finally catching up with my blogging friends. This was a lot of fun.


Steve Stenzel said...

"Italians aren’t happy unless they’re bitching about something. Kind of like me."

I love it. And the Popener?!? I flippin' love it!!