Wednesday, 17 December 2008


In honor of Glaven going off the deep end again (but this time in reference to me), I thought I would give him some link love and answer his post with one of my own. [Editor’s note: This also helps me as I haven’t run since Saturday and had nothing fun to post for today.] If you’ve got a spare hour or two on your hands, go read his long rambling yet amusing post first then come back to mine if you still give a rat’s ass.

All right, Glaven, here goes...

My quizzes were created by a dozen nerds shackled to desks in the Nerditorium library who were beaten with wet spaghetti noodles when they failed to meet production deadlines ... which was often.

On the subject of your life suckage—all you have to do is be unemployed, go into debt and live off of money that committees only begrudgingly give you because your supervisor knows how poor your normal living conditions are and she’s begged on your behalf.

This is what PhD stands for.

The answers to your quiz questions are as follows:

(1) No, Popeners* don’t shit in the woods. A Popener only has an image of the Pope’s head so therefore the Popener has to do its business in a colostomy bag.
(2) Only if it’s been through its confirmation.
(3) 4
(4) Marcy went too far back in time. Don’t worry, she’ll catch up.
(5) It’s all about brevity, buddy. [Editor’s note: I should probably follow my own advice, no?]

I’ll pass on the palm grease, but thanks anyway.

Xenia is a Greek word. Loosely translated, it means ‘hospitality to strangers’. Its form is nominative feminine singular. The plural would be xeniai if it actually existed. You tried to make my blog name a Latin neuter plural second declension noun, which it is not. Are your eyes bleeding yet? Thanks for helping me revise** my rusty ancient language grammar skills.

As to the second part of footnote 4 ... I just threw up in my mouth a little.

There’s a chance I may be back in Rome in the spring for a short period of time. If I do go, I promise to hold another Popener quiz. I’m doing that just for you, Glaven. And the half dozen other readers who have threatened to lynch me because I have left them Popener-less.

I hope your knee heals up soon. Take care, buddy.

*For Marci and others who don’t already know, a Popener is a bottle opener with the image of the Pope on it. Hence why it is so coveted.

**British term for studying. I’ve heard it so many times in the past three plus years, that I can’t not say it anymore.


Roisin said...

I heart Latin. That is all.

Nitmos said...

this was probably not long and rambly enough for Glaven. You needed a few more interrupted thoughts and divergences.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Pfft! In fact, it's not fun and games UNTIL sombody loses an eye and their virginity. And if the second part of footnote 4 didn't make you hurl your guts out ... or lose an eye .. or your virginity ... (ah! I remember MY first footnote! ... she was older ... she was VERY hospitable to THIS stranger ... she made me a man at the tender age of 34 ...)

Where was I?

O, yeah.

If all of that DIDN'T happen because of footnote 4, then Footnote 4 was an utter failure!

I'm sorry! I don't mean it! It's just this Popenerlessness! It's making me crazy. My boss just gave me my Xmas present - a bottle of Ommegang Three Philosophers Quadupel - and even tho it has a cork in it, it sooooooo wants to be opened by a Popener!

Plus ... I saw you lumping me with Viper on Nic's site.

We'll call it even, then. Truce.

Glad you made it safely to wherever you are, sister!

Jenn said...

You two always crack me up. Thanks for putting a smile on this temp cripples face.


Viper said...

Oddly enough, I threw up in my mouth a little too.

joyRuN said...

Your post was a little too logical for Glayeypoo, methinks.

You better watch it. With this footnote 4 confusion, I might transfer my blogfatuation to you.

It would serve the two beer-swilling cartoon figures right.

Ted said...

Plainly put... this is a R-I-O-T !

Meg said...

I'm so confused. I need the Cliffs notes version of this banter.

tfh said...

You know, I always thought many of my RBFs were about as mature as sixth graders, but I'm very impressed. Unlike in my sixth grade Latin class (all 3 of us), no one has yet made a joke about the word "neuter."

I'm a little disappointed though that it sounds like you didn't fill an entire suitcase with Popeners.

Marcy said...

OK it only took me a good 26489163418736178 minutes but I finally understand this :P

Ahhhhh Latin. Brings back great memories. Can you believe I was actually in Latin Club HAHAHHAA (No fo real yo. Really I was) In all fairness the only requirement was that you 1) actually took or was currently enrolled in the class and 2) show up to eat pizza. So who am I to refuse? I think I just lost 274891741947189371 sexy points by revealing that :P

The Laminator said...

Wow...that was more encrypted than an answer to one of your Popener quizzes! No wonder I could never win."