Monday, 29 December 2008


Admit it, you've all missed me, haven't you?

I've finally trekked into the real world and am taking advantage of a bookstore's wifi. Not that I don't love you all dearly, but I've actually been enjoying my disconnectedness and will pretty much continue to do so for the next two weeks with a few exceptions.

My holidays have been fun and festive, but sadly fartlek-free. Today I finally got off my lazy butt for my first full-on cold weather run. Thanks to my holiday loot, I was well prepared for the excursion. Somehow though I don't think those three miles are going to work off the vast quantities of food I've ingested over the past week and a half. We had two dinners on Christmas day thanks to the fact that one of my Greek aunts was back in the states. I haven't had a Greeklish holiday since I was a teenager and, damn, do I miss them. I'm surprised I can even walk let alone run with how much spanikopita, tyropita, pasticho, potatoes, and honey and butter cookies I've eaten. Hell, I've consumed more baklava in one week than most people should ever actually eat in a year. I wouldn't be suprised if I'm actually diabetic now.

Hopefully I'll get another run in this week before Z and I re-enact Cannonball Run again. We're probably leaving on Friday, but that all depends on what Mother Nature has in store for New England and the midwest first.

Our drive from Chi-town to the wilds of NH went surprisingly well as we managed to miss all the major storms by the skin of our teeth. Regardless, the words 'dick', 'douche' and 'a$$hole' were used liberally as we encountered morons from the midwestern states. Observations made during the trip include the following:
  • Leaving Chicago during rush hour, though necessary, was a total pain in the butt.
  • Gary, Indiana is truly hell on earth.
  • Although we never crossed the Michigan border, we encountered many of their fine drivers on Route 90 and made sure to tell them what we thought of their driving skills at every opportunity ... often with shaking fists and gutter verbiage.
  • Hampton Inns are fine establishments. Even more so when compared to the collection of Bates Motels we deliberately passed up along the way.
  • Ohio is not as bad as I remember it being. Cleveland actually looks like a smaller version of Chicago. At least when driving by at 65 mph. Z and I are even contemplating stopping by the A Christmas Story house for shits and giggles on the way back.
  • The Best State Ever Award goes to Pennsylvania for the sole fact that we spent the least amount of time there.
  • The Worst State Ever Award belongs to New York, mostly for the time it took us to traverse the state as well as the unbelievably high tolls we had to pay. Greedy bastards. By the time we finally got off Route 7 (horrific tactical error on my part as navigator), we wanted to stab our eyes out.
  • There is only one Taco Bell on the highway between our departure and arrival points.
  • Thank god Z packed almost an entire restaurant's worth of home-cooked food into the backseat for us to munch on during the trip.
  • Sadly, we were still stupid enough to stop at a Hardees along the way. I think I'm still paying for it, if you know what I mean.
To help you all combat the post-holiday blues and your depression over my continued absence, I leave you with this*.

Happy New Year, everyone. Stay safe. I'll catch you later.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
*Image courtesy of my friend, the Carnivore, who sent this to me two years ago and it still makes me laugh.


Laura said...

Don't be dissing my state, yo!

Also, sometimes with my random mood swings I bet Boyfriend wishes I could take some Hozac :)

P.O.M. said...

Ha. Can we get some Hozac to smash into certian peoples drinks when they're not looking????

Sorry to say, but that drive does sound like hell on earth.

Have a great New Year!!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Nice to have you back, if only for a short time. The blogosphere was missing that certain "X" factor.

I envy people from ethnic groups that know how to cook. I'm Irish, and, sure, we know how to drink, but our food diet is pretty much based on things you might find lying on, or in, the dirt. Once found, the items are not in any way altered by the Irish method of "cooking". That's why our food doesn't have exotic names like "spanikopita, tyropita, pasticho" and "baklava".

Our stuff is called "cabbage" and "potatoes" and "Have anoother whiskey, Paddy, will ye? It'll make that shite palatable."

Enjoy the rest of your vacation, you lucky Greek ho!

Marcy said...

Don't EVEN get me started on NY. It truly is the WORST state evah. All the dayum taxes up in this joint . . .man if only my (and the Mr's) parents would die off already so we can leave this state without feeling guilty :P

joyRuN said...


Glad to hear the driving went relatively well.

Happy New Year :)

MCM Mama said...

ROFL at the Hozac. I need me some of that.

Glad the drive was survivable. That drive sucks at the best of times. I couldn't imagine it in the winter.

The Running Knitter said...

Have a safe and happy new year!

The Laminator said... knockin' on the NY please. We're a fun city and state...toll booths, crazy drivers, and weather-related accidents aside...

Mel said...

Love the Hozac. Been missin ya in blogland. Glad you made a visit.

Merry said...

Read a list of state mottos once.
The state motto of NY was
"You have the right to remain silent. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided ..."

Glad to hear from you and hope the rest of the trip goes smoothly!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the guidebook on road trips to the US. We've been thinking of doing one somewhere in the future and will take a print-out of your post as our mini "Lonely Planet" guide.

Great post.

Btw. one can never have too much Baklava ;-)

MizFit said...

I love Dr DRE and once worked for a guy who asked me:

who is that rapper you like? is it Doctor DER (as pronounce NOT like the end of the word anDRE).

I still laugh about that.


Ted said...

How could you pass through Cleveland and not stop by for a drink with Viper?

Glad you had a good trip!

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you!

Jess said...

Whooop PA is the most awesome state ever haha!

Roisin said...

Every hour is rush hour in the Chicagoland area. But I am glad you and your sister made it through Gary without being shot at.

Viper said...

After you check out the Christmas Story house, why not swing over to the Prosperity Social Club and ask them to make you A Christmas Story? Check it, yo!

Safe travels and happy New Year!

Meg said...

Baklava...I'm so jealous.
MI drivers are pretty poor, they have no idea. Especially when they get in the left lane and sit there oblivious that they are not the fastest person on the road. When they are the fastest person on the road it's usually during a snow storm and then the road is littered with accidents.
Your PA/NY comments are funny because to me I have to cross the entire state of PA to get to my part of NY, so I tend to think OH/PA are the worst states ever and NY is the light at the end of the tunnel!

Jamie said...

There is never a traffic free hour in Chicago. I have tried all hours of the day to head to Ohio, it never matters. And yes, Gary, IN is one SMELLY hell on earth! Sounds like a long yet eventful trip! Enjoy your New Years!

Viv said...

Wow I think that trip would have been a blast with ya! It feels like you are so close but so far away..LOL!

Have a safe and super strong healthy 2009!

Carly said...

I am drooling over your Greek holiday fest!

I am LOL at your recap of the road trip. I am sure I would be needing the Hozac and sputtering the obscenities.

Sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas! Happy New Year!

Steve Stenzel said...

I say "BOOO" to your fartlek-free holiday!


And I love that ad! HA!

Happy New Year!!

Anonymous said...

New York is, indeed, greedy and tax-hungry. But if I was in the toll booth I'd have ignored the posted toll and charged you just one Popener...maybe two.

chia said...

Dude, Indiana is just the pit of death for driving. It's like as soon as anyone hits Indiana common sense flies out of the car window. I hate that state. I hate Michigan too so I guess I should shut up. Oh well. Much love chica -- Happy New year!

X-Country2 said...

All that Greek food sounds amazing. Almost makes up for the Hardees. :o)