This has absolutely nothing to do with running, but I thought you’d all get a kick out of my pain. Here’s the background info.
I live in a house with three other people. Since we’ve all been on various research trips and away for the holidays, we haven’t all lived in the house together until this week. My friend and housemate Canadia and I have been living very peacefully and happily in the house together since mid-January. The other two, whom we not so affectionately have dubbed The Twins even though they are in fact a couple, arrived back on Sunday night. To say they are not exactly sane is an understatement. Sadly, we were not aware of this fact until after we agreed to move into the house.
So Canadia spent Sunday night at her bf’s. Monday morning, I sent her an email. That email and her response are what follow.
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In the wee hours of this morning (4 am-ish), I awoke to the sounds of people having sex. I was rather groggy at the time, but I could have sworn the house was shaking. Now it could have been our crackhead neighbor, but when I woke up at 7:45 this morning I heard her kid through the wall. Granted he could have gone into her boudoir after awakening from whatever corner she puts him in, but I’m not so sure.
I feel dirty.
I may need to start taking some serious drugs in the evenings to make sure I don’t wake up again in the middle of the night. I’ll probably end up wetting the bed, but I think it’s a justifiable risk.
Hope your day’s not sucking.
Subject: re: shudder
As soon as I saw the subject of this email, I knew what was coming.
I shudder in response. Even if it was the crackhead neighbour. Although, it probably wasn't, given we've never heard that before.
The event involving our housemates wouldn't surprise me, given they've just returned from a month and a half with the parentals, where I'm sure they weren't at it, at all, or loudly.
This is disturbing. Highly highly disturbing... particularly because my room is DIRECTLY below theirs. And the house shaking might not have been a delusion either, given their mattress is pretty much on the floor up there.
Oh gawd. That's so yucky.
I liked it better when it was just us.
I will do something terrible if I am disturbed by sex tonight!
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Now, don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying our house should be a no-sex zone. Hell to the no! What we’re saying is that the idea of those two having sex is that disturbing. Seriously, my mind is seizing even as I type this. It’s like when my mom unfortunately told me the story of how one of my uncles decided to play a joke on my grandmother. He bought her a vibrator for her birthday. She opened it up in front of the family and everyone got a good giggle. That is until my grandmother, sweet-Betty-Crockerish-knitting-&-quilting-midwestern-salt-of-the-earth woman that she is, replied in all seriousness, ‘Oh thanks, but I already have one.’
And trust me, the Twins’ faults, of which there are many, extend well beyond loud sex. In only three days, it’s been mentioned that I was ‘working late’ when I hadn’t returned home by 6:30 pm and that it seems like I cook ‘a lot’. No shit, Sherlock. I’ve got a dissertation that’s not going to write itself and I live on a budget so I don’t want to waste money by eating out all the time.
My wonderful affordable apartment has now lost all its appeal. Looks like I’ll be searching for somewhere else to lay my head once my lease is up at the end of the summer.
Anyone got a spare room they can rent me for cheap?