Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Minor technicality

So, yeah, I got in my 17 miles for the week but I required today to complete them. Considering I didn’t start running until Wednesday last week, I’m still technically within the guidelines of the humiliation challenge.

Yeah, I know, that sounds weak even to me. In my defense, I've had deadlines to contend with and I also had to spend a good junk of my weekend giving a thorough cleaning to our pig-sty of a kitchen, even cleaning out the cabinets and chucking out anything that was nasty, useless or both. At one point I put the vacuum hose into a very remote and dark corner of the cabinet underneath the sink and something big was sucked up into the tube. I’m praying it wasn’t a mouse, but I wouldn’t doubt it.

Another factor in me not running both days this weekend was because Aunt Flo is just about to visit again. Right now I’m dealing with the other aunts – Crampy, Bloaty, Hungry, Sleepy and Bitchy. See, they’re like the dwarfs just worse since these gals are fecking useless and cause me severe pain.

And since I’ve already made all the guys who read this blog cringe, I might as well keep going. I’ve noticed a lot of the female RBFs complaining of Aunt Flo and who can blame them. There’s nothing worse for running than having sore boobage and a pelvic area that feels like it’s been kicked multiple times. Then said nether region decides to spew grossness at an alarming rate. We lady runners need our own blogospheric Red Tent of sorts. I have no idea what it should be called though. Suggestions are welcome.

All right, all right, enough of the period talk. Here are my running stats for last week:

Wednesday - 3.1 miles
Friday - 3.1 miles
Saturday - 4.5 miles
Tuesday - 6.4 miles
Total - 17.1 miles

That’s pretty much it for me. I’ve got a busy rest of the week ahead including my first official product review which I hope to post tomorrow or maybe Thursday. A fun non-work related bit of this week's busy-ness involves me trying out a new recipe which I hope to bring to an international Easter potluck this weekend. Since the little devil children who sell the original cookies don’t inhabit England, I’ve got to see if I can make the goodies myself. Hopefully they don’t turn out too bad. If all else fails, I’ll just bring my standard potluck dish.

All right, later gators!


MizFIt said...

Cant wait for the recipe and the accompanying photos and review.

and then you can start selling them all across england, make your millions and get on oprah.

Ill wait.

Jenn said...

LOL to MizFit's comment.
The Auntie's are visiting me too this week. And they brought along Uncle basket case for good measure. Fun times!

Jess said...

Haha sorry the aunties are visiting you. That's never fun times!

joyRuN said...

I have another couple of weeks before my visit from AF. I actually had her over the day of my 22-miler - blech ugh nasty is all I have to say about that.

Carolina John said...

I know Glaven will have a field day with this one.

my knowledge of periods might scare you, i swear i was a reproductive endocrynologist in a previous life or something.

Nuvaring is the best thing going right now. it is birth control through an IUD with 5 years of continuous protection and no periods. yep, none. my wife got one back in november and she loves it. no pills, no periods, no new babies. the gyno can take it out and within 2 cycles you can get pregnant, so there's no proven long term effects that we know of. it works by hormonally preventing the uterine lining from ever thickening, so it seems totally safe.

and i hate western medicine, but this is really cool. ok, hope i didn't scare you too bad.

Xenia said...

CJ--Weirdly enough, your breadth of knowledge on the topic doesn't scare me at all. I have a very good friend who has an IUD and is happy she has it, but the pain she experienced getting it implanted was enough for me to not want one ever. I think I'd rather suffer (and bitch) about my monthly cramps and accidentally get pregnant than deal with that. Yeah, more than you wanted to know, I'm sure. :)

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Jeepers, Xenia, you're nearly as naive as you are pneumatic because - though I can't speak for all the dudes out there - you never gross me out with these girly things that you think will gross me out.

Nice try, though.

Of course, it doesn't surprise me that Carolina Cletus knows so much about girly-plumbing since I'm pretty sure, chromosomally speaking, he's like XXY - living proof that people who are first-cousins or better should NOT be f*cking each other.

As for the name of your new girl blogosphere, how about "Sorry, Dear, Only Anal Tonight"?

Because I think that's more inclusive and guys might find it strangely alluring, also. I know I do; and probably so would Mr. Moose, though I can't say I speak for him.

Plus, whenever you think you're being disgusting, I see it as my duty to be even MORE disgusting in my comment. (How'd I do?)

Sorry. I meant "my doody".

tfh said...

I nodded emphatically when I first read your Red Tent suggestion on my own period post. There's something mildly degrading about having to announce the arrival of one's menstrual cycle every month. My suggestion for a phrase would have to involve the word CURSE, which is what my grandma called it, and is apt. Sorry you're cursed.

P.S. Twice now I've seen GQH make comments implying that sex can't be had while the lady is menstruating. I never would have taken him for such a prude!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...


And I'm reading a comment by tfh implying that anal sex isn't sex.

I never knew she was such a prude.

(Plus, I thought she was more anal than that - just judging by her writing style.)

Roisin said...

I agree...Aunt Flo is the worst. There's nothing more uncomfortable than wearing tight running clothes and not being able to suck in your guy. Because it feels THAT uncomfortable.

X-Country2 said...

Way to knock out those 17+ miles! Even with Aunt Flo. I prefer to curl up in a ball under a blanket.

Lily on the Road said...

I am so glad I'm over all of that, you've only got what? another 20 - 30 years.

I can't believe that GQH takes the bait every time...LOL

Ace said...

My internal man sensors have filtered any reference to flow/pelvic/throbbing/spewage. Today I learned about Easter cookies!

Lauren said...

I was okay with the girl talk. Sucking up a mouse with a vacuum?! I almost threw up in my mouth. I'm shuddering from here. Have you emptied the vacuum bag yet? I would make someone else do it.

Jamie said...

Those bitches came to visit me early...nice job hitting your weekly mark.

RazZDoodle said...

We never said anything about style points, thank God. Runnin's runnin.

Ted said...

Looks like you got plenty of companies in your kitchen with your vacuum cleaner.

Have a blast with Aunt Flo... exciting, huh?

Good job on the running with your hectic schedule.

aron said...

those dwarfs are so annoying.

Irish Cream said...

HAHAHA! I think I need to discuss my period on my blog a little more often. If nothing else, I think it would probably really freak my boyfriend out, which is always good fun.

Ms. V. said...

HAHAHAHA Wait till you're 50.

Red Tent. Good one!

Anonymous said...

Wait just one second - do you mean to tell me I'm supposed to DISCARD kitchen items that are useless and/or nasty? Daaamn. There goes 90% of all my kitcheny wealth.

And Mr. Moose DOES, indeed, love Glaven's suggestion. My sphincter and I do not concur.

carpeviam said...

THANK YOU for including the recipe! I SO know what I'm making when I return from Boston. Or, hell, when Lent is up and I can go back to enjoying chocolate!

K and I love girl scout cookies too much. We bought 20 from my god-daughter, and then we freeze them so they'll last us all year.

It's like the gift that keeps on giving.

Nitmos said...

It's been awhile since I threw up in my mouth. The Red Tent? Thanks.

Marcy said...

Ooooohhhh yeah baby! Welcome to period hells! I just drink about 28947294728934 cups of coffee and hope that it offsets the general fatigue. The bitching, excessive farting, and looks from hell I just let everyone else deal with :P