Thursday, 25 June 2009

Future not so bright, don't need to wear shades

For a while now I’ve felt like something’s been missing. Then I realized it’s been way too long since I’ve had a good quality, long-winded, inappropriate mental breakdown on this blog.

Let’s have at it, shall we!

Recently I’ve made a timetable for the rest of my PhD work. The results were sobering to say the least. There are three possible outcomes.

1) Submit my dissertation by next summer which allows me to apply for jobs for next fall (2010), the process for which begins this fall. Special note—I’d be applying at one of the worst times ever for university positions. Go me.

2) Submit next fall, apply for jobs for the following year (2011) and until then flounder around somewhere with part-time teaching work. Or potentially prostitution. Depends on the job market conditions.

3) Not submit at all as my student visa expires at the beginning of 2011 and I am way too cheap to renew that bad boy. This results in the ‘Flight of Shame’ as I return to the states and get a job working a fryolator* to pay off my remaining undergrad student loan debt. Good times.

Basically what this all comes down to is that I have a shit ton of work to do in a very short period of time. What is making this extra distressing for me is that I feel like I’ve barely seen anything of England and I’ve lived here for four freaking years already. Bloody hell.

Once I get back from digging in October, it’s going to be all hands on deck on the good ship Hurry The F*ck Up. The theme songs fueling this period of hysteria will be The Final Countdown and the song that keeps playing on my ipod no matter how many times I reset the shuffle, Under Pressure. Go figure.

On top of all of this, there is my marathon dilemma. There’s no chance I can do one in the fall so I’m shooting for the spring. I currently have two in the running: Rome and London. However, my participation in the latter is up to the ballot which doesn’t get announced until October, so there’s no use worrying about that till then. A friend of mine is also trying to entice me to run the Neolithic Marathon with her. It’s mostly a trail race, which in and of itself is not bad except when you factor in typical English weather. I have a feeling I’d have to run it wearing Wellies and a full body condom just to make it through in one piece. Not exactly an attractive proposition at the moment.

So what does all this crap mean for you guys? Well, our relationship is going to be kinda rocky over the next year or so to say the least. There will be stretches of time when I’ll be fine and posting my usual drivel, other times when I’ll be MIA and still others when I'll freak out and threaten to leave you all permanently but then come crawling back two days later and beg you to take me back a la Razz. I’ll sorta be like that crazy crying drunk chick you accidentally pick up at a party and end up regretting later. But not so much that you won’t keep coming back for random booty calls when your social life hits a lull and you need a self-esteem boost.

Lovely, no?

So yeah, that’s what I’m dealing with right now. I’ve got two months left before I head off to excavate so I’m trying to crank out some pages before I go. I’m also trying to get into decent shape for the excavation but I keep falling off the strength training wagon which isn’t doing my stress levels any good. Eh, life sucks sometimes.

All right, that’s WAY more than enough of my bitching. Hope you’re all doing well. Catch up with you when I can. (Maybe sometime in 2012?)

Later gators.

Ran Tuesday night and this morning. Yay for finally getting off my ever-expanding ass!

*Archaeology has a lack of transferable skills. Who knew?


Jamoosh said...

Are there gators in the UK? Just a random thought.

Lily on the Road said...

Well, now that you've got that off your chest I hope you feel better. ; )

I'd go for door no. 1 then swing over to to part-time teaching / prostitution if required, of course depending upon the job market!

Seriously, you'll be fine and when you get a chance to really see the results of submitting your dissertation by next summer, life will look good. Hang in there girlfriend, you'll be fine...really!!

Carolina John said...

sounds hectic for sure. we all have those periods every now and then. layout a game plan and everything will work out. i have total confidence in you!

RazZDoodle said...

so I'm like a weird booty call? I'm confused.

Buck up, camper. Things happen for a reason and you'll figure things out. See ya on the flip side.

carpeviam said...

I don't envy you. You've got a lot on your plate, for sure. Take it a day at a time and give each day your best. That's all you can do. I'll be thinking about ya!

Marcy said...

(((HUGS))) chica! Sounds like a lot of poop on our plate right now. I DO think things will work out in the end, it always does :-) And might I suggest stripping instead of prostitution? Cuts back on your chances of getting an STD (maybe, depending on who you're dancing for :P) LOL JK!

If it makes you feel better I am also dropping out of the fall marathon game. I just don't have the time (or really "want" right now) to commit to a whole one. Looks like a season of halfsies for me.

Roisin said...

This will make you happy:

speaking of booty calls and all that.

You'll be okay! We out here in blogland are rooting for you! I'll light some candles, it's all good.

raulgonemobile said...

I go with option 1. Buckle down, get it done. You'll feel a lot better having it done, no matter if you have the lucrative job landed or not. Trust me.

Plus, once you have the time table more or less set, you have to go balls to the wall, and you spend less time screwing around, not working on the dissertation. (Not that there is anything wrong with screwing around. But it is really good to have it done.)

Lauren said...

Everyone in a PhD program freaks out every once in a while (or for 6 years straight depending on the person). I just watched a special showing how prostitutes don't really make all that much money after all kinds of things are factored in. I'd go for waiting tables.

Theresa said...

Really, they need to publicize more how graduate school leaves one damaged and scarred.

I vote for option 2, because trying to apply for a job AND finish your thesis is really just insane. Much easier to go on the job market with your thesis finished or nearly so. And trying to finish up your thesis when you've already started a new job...well, that's soul destroying in its own unique way.

Wow, I'm just all kinds of optimism.

Seriously, you *can* do it. It may look impossible, but generally it's just really, really, mind-blowing hard. :+)

Danielle in Iowa said...

Do they do postdocs in your field? Let me tell you, getting a postdoc was much less stressful than applying for faculty jobs and they have more flexibility so the fact that I am not going to finish in August (or at least it looks not likely now) doesn't freak them out the way it would a faculty position that needs you to teach a class.

Anyway, I'm going through dissertation freak out myself at the moment and of course, I am reading blogs instead of writing it. (Hint: the Chronicle of Higher Education forum can also provide hours of entertainment)

Good luck!

chia said...


I was all full of optimism then realized my own job search/life planning struggle sucks too and nothing anyone else says ever dulls that resonant hum of potential dispair ringing in my ears so I'll just say this... Stay true to who you are and don't take no for an answer :-)

I love the anteaters.

X-Country2 said...

If anyone can get it all done, it's you! Good luck. :o)

Nitmos said...

What's a PhD program?

There, does that make you feel better?

Viper said...

Head down and full steam ahead. Good luck. Cheers!

Jess said...

I think prostitution pays more than part-time university teaching. Plus, then you don't have to read student papers.

Jamie said...

You have a lot of crap on your plate right now. These things tend to work themselves out in the end but it is always a bitch getting there. Good luck figuring it all out. And I've heard that even strippers and prostitutes aren't doing well in these economic times ;)

Vanilla said...

So since you've got a deadline and a ton of work to do we can expect another 5 Part fictional story featuring your favorite bloggers, no?

Prostitution would give you some bizarre stories to blog about, but if that doesn't work out I'll welcome you to the financial services industry - pretty much any skills transfer over quite nicely.

Anonymous said...

We know you will be coming back, so we won't worry about the occasional blog-silence.

Never worry about the job-perspective too much. Take it from someone with an English Lit. Masters - lacking more than only transferable skills. You'll be fine and get to love the totally random jobs that will get to totally deprive you of any form of social life.

Mike said...

The solution to your difficulties, of course, is to find the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol. You will then achieve riches and everlasting fame.

Merry said...

like that crazy crying drunk chick you accidentally pick up at a party and end up regretting later

I'd never considered our relationship in quite that light before ;)

I vote that you use this blog in a shameless fashion, coming here to confess when you've had a Day From Hell. We'll send virtual alcohol and maybe even some pseudo-sympathy.

Go Xenia!

joyRuN said...

Fryolator? I thought gravediggers made pretty decent money, no?

Makes option 1 look even better - so GO FOR IT!

One step at a time, girl. I've learned that if I start plodding along without looking how much further I have to go, I can surprise myself.

Michelle said...

Hi nice to meet you! I am guest post numero cuatro over at

Good luck in all your endeavors!!!

Robert James Reese said...

This post cracked me up. Doesn't it suck when life sneaks past you too quickly? Good luck with the marathon decisions. I've never done a trail marathon, but I want to someday. Seems like it would be fun.

Ms. V. said...

One day at a time, kid. Breathe, and it will all get done. I only did a MS, and it's grueling...but really your PhD can be done, thing at a time.

Calyx Meredith said...

What you need is a Sugar Daddy. I'm not sure how that would help you meet your deadlines but I'm sure it would give you a way to travel a bit more and pay off your undergrad loans. Oh - and if you get one whose got some political pull you could get that visa extended. See, I'm a great help. Uh, good luck with it all!

Blyfinn said...

We all go through crappy times. Great that you can let it go. Hope it picks up for you soon.

Jessica said...

At least running should keep you in good shape for the prostitution or the stripping, whichever you decide upon! Keep your chin up!